moya

Sorry, no pictures tonight. I feel sick. I just woke up, from a terrible dream, and I feel so darn ill. Part of it is definately dehydration, despite I drank loads of water at work. I came home, and what did I do when I got home, I don't know, I can't remember. But I passed out around 7:30 and just woke up.. Saw 11:39 on the clock, had a heart attack that I slept through to next day, and here I am, ready to throw up.. Did I eat anything? I can't remember. Ugh. Water is making me feel sicker.

So, then, my dream had Mei, Neil, and Ryan and Matt from work. And centered around my trip to Madison on the 8th. Neil and Ryan were the same person, in Ryans body..And I called him both names, just changing every few minutes.. Basically, I went to go stay at 'Ryans' place for the weekend, but turns out he decided to stay with Matt from now til through the weekend, I'm not sure why I was leaving so early. We made it, don't know where I went after arrival, got back to Matts place, and by then I had started to panic. I had no car, no clue where I was, I didn't know of anything to do but didn't want to get bored.. Well, when I got back, and it felt wierd going back to Matts place, his parents said Matt had gone into work and Ryan went with him.. And they worked until 7. Ryan here was my host, supposed to stick with me and such, you know? So I got the hint that they (Matt and Ryan) really did not want me around, asked to use the computer, get maps to drive back home, printed them, and left. I think character Ryan was only supposed to be Neil in the sense that I was supposed to stay at his place. Anyway, I walked through apartment parking lots crying my eyes out, and Mei saw me, listened to my blubber, took me home, and she had been cooking noodles for her parents.. I woke up crying. And of course, I'm now in high doubt about going. Nothing like feeling absolutly rejected upon waking.
I do remember my thoughts while laying in bed before sleeping, so perhaps I know where that came from, but you really have to twist some things and completely replace people and situations..well, duh, my subconscious is great at doing that.

Now I feel sick, and my face feels funny/dry. Work was held off til 11:30 today, stayed open til 6.. Was so slow we had a skeleton crew, 2(people out 'back' who vacuum and spray it off, where I was)/5(people up 'front' who dry with towels) I think. At two points, we sat for over an hour with no cars.. Why we bothered to stay open? I don't know.

I feel a bad heartache, on top of all this. Thanks to my thinking before I fell asleep. My stomach is turning. Water makes me want to throw up. I'm cranky and can't breathe through my nose too good. I'm depressed and feel like shit.

I'm one big ray of sunshine tonight. I need to get back to bed. Tomorrow is friday and I'm in the mood to read another book at the library already.. Too bad I can't think about it too hard right now.. Brain is not working..just addictions to books and the computer. I really don't want to go dream again. People hurt me alot in my dreams. Resembles life alot. Hopefully everyone has a better night. Replies and pictures tomorrow, if I'm not dead.