Changing this sleep pattern around is a bit more difficult than I remember. But for some reason, I also remember the other one coming about naturally. What did I start to do differently? Bah, I don't recall, it was last year, and I can barely tell you what we had for dinner tonight.. 
I haven't had much time to talk to my sister and other people lately. Sure, it's been only two days, but I'm used to having time to sit here or on the phone and just talk. Odd, how now that I have no schoolwork that needs to get done, I find I have less time to goof around, yet when there's something looming over my head, due sometime soon, I have all the time in the world.
It also looks like for St. Patricks day, I'll be sitting here at home, being bored out of my mind. What friends I do happen to say hi to are so boring, no one even wants to go out and do something. I need non backstabbing people who are cool, as in, they won't chain me up by my fingernails for making one stupid mistake or anger them or hurt feelings. I'm a clumsy person, and I have a job, why is that so threatening? Tiredness happens. What else.
I don't know. I'm tired right now so I'm just babbling. I just woke up at 11:15 or something, and the only thing I remember is tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep, wondering why I couldn't. In the half-conscious state, I remember thinking-dreaming about doing research.. Finding books using call numbers, writing down the bibliographic references, and having alot of trouble with it. Someone please tell me why I dream of researching. I'll be doing so much of it in the near future, my dreams don't need to be plagued by confusion as to where 'PR2807 blah blah' is located, and how one could possibly write an annotation. 
Seriously, what the hell. It was more like a nightmare.
My fear of going to sleep is starting to return, even the thought of going to bed between 10 pm - 5 am terrifies me. Okay, not terrifies, but I'm finding myself so sad and reluctant to go change, and lay down under the covers, close my eyes, and wait til I sleep. Even those moments, when you are laying there, is just..ugh. The thoughts and memories and emotions that fly by my head are reason enough I don't want to go to sleep unless I know I'll be out as soon as possible. But the actual thought of being asleep, actually out of it, during nighttime hours makes me frown and feel a bit miserable. I really don't want to go to sleep. But I'm so tired.
What would I do for the next 6 hours, though, until I'm supposed to wake up? I was able to rouse myself at 4 yesterday morning, and around 5:10 or so, I was falling asleep, head ready to smack the keyboard.. Fear. But I don't want to sit here and watch a movie.. I actually want to be with someone right now. Perhaps I could go wake my mother up. I want something to do with someone until dawn, then go to sleep. Not sit here alone, bored out of my mind. Like wander around, joke, play games, talk, you know.
Did you enjoy that college reference?
Oh, and I have a few friend requests. Please comment a few times? I don't bite.
My boss made me feel like a guilty dumbass today about wanting a raise.. Talked to the parents about it, and I feel like a complete idiot for feeling like a dumbass earlier. I just don't want to go back there.
So many dilemmas.. And god I really do hate missing people. *must learn to accept that not everyone wants to talk to me anymore*.
I'm tired. Let's blame this all on that.. Atleast my hair is still green. 
I haven't had much time to talk to my sister and other people lately. Sure, it's been only two days, but I'm used to having time to sit here or on the phone and just talk. Odd, how now that I have no schoolwork that needs to get done, I find I have less time to goof around, yet when there's something looming over my head, due sometime soon, I have all the time in the world.
It also looks like for St. Patricks day, I'll be sitting here at home, being bored out of my mind. What friends I do happen to say hi to are so boring, no one even wants to go out and do something. I need non backstabbing people who are cool, as in, they won't chain me up by my fingernails for making one stupid mistake or anger them or hurt feelings. I'm a clumsy person, and I have a job, why is that so threatening? Tiredness happens. What else.
I don't know. I'm tired right now so I'm just babbling. I just woke up at 11:15 or something, and the only thing I remember is tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep, wondering why I couldn't. In the half-conscious state, I remember thinking-dreaming about doing research..
Finding books using call numbers, writing down the bibliographic references, and having alot of trouble with it. Someone please tell me why I dream of researching. I'll be doing so much of it in the near future, my dreams don't need to be plagued by confusion as to where 'PR2807 blah blah' is located, and how one could possibly write an annotation. Seriously, what the hell. It was more like a nightmare.
My fear of going to sleep is starting to return, even the thought of going to bed between 10 pm - 5 am terrifies me. Okay, not terrifies, but I'm finding myself so sad and reluctant to go change, and lay down under the covers, close my eyes, and wait til I sleep. Even those moments, when you are laying there, is just..ugh. The thoughts and memories and emotions that fly by my head are reason enough I don't want to go to sleep unless I know I'll be out as soon as possible. But the actual thought of being asleep, actually out of it, during nighttime hours makes me frown and feel a bit miserable. I really don't want to go to sleep. But I'm so tired.
What would I do for the next 6 hours, though, until I'm supposed to wake up? I was able to rouse myself at 4 yesterday morning, and around 5:10 or so, I was falling asleep, head ready to smack the keyboard.. Fear. But I don't want to sit here and watch a movie.. I actually want to be with someone right now. Perhaps I could go wake my mother up. I want something to do with someone until dawn, then go to sleep. Not sit here alone, bored out of my mind. Like wander around, joke, play games, talk, you know.
Did you enjoy that college reference?
Oh, and I have a few friend requests. Please comment a few times? I don't bite.
My boss made me feel like a guilty dumbass today about wanting a raise.. Talked to the parents about it, and I feel like a complete idiot for feeling like a dumbass earlier.
I just don't want to go back there.
So many dilemmas.. And god I really do hate missing people. *must learn to accept that not everyone wants to talk to me anymore*.
I'm tired. Let's blame this all on that.. Atleast my hair is still green. VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
I've been totally nyquiling it lately. I don't know why, but i wanna buy this..
i mean, you never know when i'll need it..undercover work and such.
But I can relate about not being able to sleep at night. I have to force myself to sleep just so I can be somewhat awake for work in the morning. I've tried to change my sleeping habits for years with no success... and you're right, the lying there thinking just drives you crazy.