Good morning. I just woke up. And responded to bajillions of comments.
I had the most awkward dream earlier
. I woke up with alot of discomfort. The dream: I went on a field trip with my old class. Don't remember much anymore, but the cooks were making grilled cheese sandwhiches. And I got the last one. This chick who's standing next to me leans over and whipsers, 'Are you one of those people who just can't ever stop eating?' and I nodded yes and I chewed on.. Then I swallowed, at it had difficulty going down, like I didn't chew enough.. I woke up with this terrible pain in my chest. Like I swallowed spit in my sleep and it solidified halfway to my stomach. I was laying on my stomach, and my legs were a V shape, and the cat had nestled right on in at the base of my ass. Apparently my ass is a great pillow 
. So, I had to flip my upperself over without disturbing it and try to breathe.
Managing that, I laid there overheated by FAR, ready to pass out from who knows what, thirsty, twisted and in much discomfort, and my lungs being assholes. The cat then decided it wanted attention, and came..and layed down right below my chin/on my neck and chest
. I think I almost suffocated. So I bolted out of bed and got some water..sputtered that, and I don't remember if that was the first time I woke up at 7:34, or the second time at 8:40ish.
It's those kinds of waking up from naps I hate. Real killers. Dreaming hurts. Waking up this morning was a killer of a different kind. It's usual kind. Though no panic today. But a gloom nonetheless.
Here's the chocolates my father gave me for Valentines Day.
I'm still unsure of what I did to anger him, yet again. When I woke up that first time ealier, I heard them mumbling about me from across the house, but due to the fact I was..really fucked up..nothing registered.. Something about something stupid I did, I think.
Either way, it's unhealthy to stay here. Summer should come soon. It means freedom.
For the past 3 nights, my computer has restarted itself, which means logging me out and losing all the pages I have open. I can tell you that I make damn well sure I'm still signed in. It SAYS so under my name on the blue screen. So why, when I wake up the next morning, am I logged out completely?
It's pissed me off many times, and I know I'm the last/first person on it. What the hell.
So, friday/this weekend will be a huge hurdle in all this bullshit. I hate weekends. And I hate February. Such a terrible month for me.
I'm disappointed I haven't dyed my hair, even bleached it, nor pierced my nose. Currently I'm angry at myself for not doing anything about it, but when no one around here knows what to do, and what one needs to obtain to do anything, it gets difficult and I give up. What a fucking sheltered life.
I've broken glass objects, I've run around the entire house and managed to scratch things, including couches and carpet, with my back claws. I run and jump onto everything, including counters, desks, and knock over jewelery. I have tracked litter all over the house, onto the kitchen table, and in a young womans bed, pillows, and clothes. I've knocked the phones over, and cups of milk onto carpet, and I jump into the smallest of spaces and ruin the displays (like the young womans feather collection, I don't know how I fit in, and since it's pretty high up, I really had to move and squirm to fit inside on my first jump). I'm getting too comfortable in this place, I'm far too spoiled, and have no capability to learn what is right and wrong. They are sending me home. Who am I?
The only things I'll miss are coming home to something, going to bed next to something, and waking up next to something. Sometimes, both those, in my arms. The waking up in the mornings brings about a new wave of stress, not relief. But the destruction of our house is almost painful. You can't repair glass lamps handed down from grandmother, milk sours easily when no one is home to clean up right away, there is missing/tangled jewelery including my most prized one, which makes me cry that I can't find it, the neat piles of insurance and college papers will take hours that none of us have to sort through. And the list goes on. I'm going to go pull my hair out.
Curse the days until tuesday. Monday, I wanted to force my sister to go do something with me, but I can't remember what. Shopping? I don't know. No doubt she'll be too busy, anyway..
I can still try, I suppose.
I had the most awkward dream earlier
. I woke up with alot of discomfort. The dream: I went on a field trip with my old class. Don't remember much anymore, but the cooks were making grilled cheese sandwhiches. And I got the last one. This chick who's standing next to me leans over and whipsers, 'Are you one of those people who just can't ever stop eating?' and I nodded yes and I chewed on.. Then I swallowed, at it had difficulty going down, like I didn't chew enough.. I woke up with this terrible pain in my chest. Like I swallowed spit in my sleep and it solidified halfway to my stomach. I was laying on my stomach, and my legs were a V shape, and the cat had nestled right on in at the base of my ass. Apparently my ass is a great pillow . So, I had to flip my upperself over without disturbing it and try to breathe.
Managing that, I laid there overheated by FAR, ready to pass out from who knows what, thirsty, twisted and in much discomfort, and my lungs being assholes. The cat then decided it wanted attention, and came..and layed down right below my chin/on my neck and chest
. I think I almost suffocated. So I bolted out of bed and got some water..sputtered that, and I don't remember if that was the first time I woke up at 7:34, or the second time at 8:40ish.
It's those kinds of waking up from naps I hate. Real killers. Dreaming hurts. Waking up this morning was a killer of a different kind. It's usual kind. Though no panic today. But a gloom nonetheless.
Here's the chocolates my father gave me for Valentines Day.
I'm still unsure of what I did to anger him, yet again. When I woke up that first time ealier, I heard them mumbling about me from across the house, but due to the fact I was..really fucked up..nothing registered.. Something about something stupid I did, I think.
Either way, it's unhealthy to stay here. Summer should come soon. It means freedom.
For the past 3 nights, my computer has restarted itself, which means logging me out and losing all the pages I have open. I can tell you that I make damn well sure I'm still signed in. It SAYS so under my name on the blue screen. So why, when I wake up the next morning, am I logged out completely?
It's pissed me off many times, and I know I'm the last/first person on it. What the hell.
So, friday/this weekend will be a huge hurdle in all this bullshit. I hate weekends. And I hate February. Such a terrible month for me.
I'm disappointed I haven't dyed my hair, even bleached it, nor pierced my nose. Currently I'm angry at myself for not doing anything about it, but when no one around here knows what to do, and what one needs to obtain to do anything, it gets difficult and I give up. What a fucking sheltered life.
I've broken glass objects, I've run around the entire house and managed to scratch things, including couches and carpet, with my back claws. I run and jump onto everything, including counters, desks, and knock over jewelery. I have tracked litter all over the house, onto the kitchen table, and in a young womans bed, pillows, and clothes. I've knocked the phones over, and cups of milk onto carpet, and I jump into the smallest of spaces and ruin the displays (like the young womans feather collection, I don't know how I fit in, and since it's pretty high up, I really had to move and squirm to fit inside on my first jump). I'm getting too comfortable in this place, I'm far too spoiled, and have no capability to learn what is right and wrong. They are sending me home. Who am I?
The only things I'll miss are coming home to something, going to bed next to something, and waking up next to something. Sometimes, both those, in my arms. The waking up in the mornings brings about a new wave of stress, not relief. But the destruction of our house is almost painful. You can't repair glass lamps handed down from grandmother, milk sours easily when no one is home to clean up right away, there is missing/tangled jewelery including my most prized one, which makes me cry that I can't find it, the neat piles of insurance and college papers will take hours that none of us have to sort through. And the list goes on. I'm going to go pull my hair out.
Curse the days until tuesday. Monday, I wanted to force my sister to go do something with me, but I can't remember what. Shopping? I don't know. No doubt she'll be too busy, anyway..
I can still try, I suppose.VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
clarkekid:
I remember when I used to work retail, I hated all my weekend shifts. All the fun stuff happened on the weekends and nothing interesting happend on my days off during the week. I can understand why they aren't the best time of the week for you.
clarkekid:
Actually, I'm looking to teach high school biology (hence the biology trivia before 
). I think I could do the most good there. I had WAY too many terrible teachers when I was in school that really soured the experience for me... well, that and a lot of the other students too. I want to try and change that experience for other kids. I know it'll be tough, but I always enjoy a good challenge.
). I think I could do the most good there. I had WAY too many terrible teachers when I was in school that really soured the experience for me... well, that and a lot of the other students too. I want to try and change that experience for other kids. I know it'll be tough, but I always enjoy a good challenge.