One question:
With cutters, is it better to show your worry and sadness or just accept it calmly?
So far, I've been trying the balanced approach. I dunno if it's the right thing though, and the person in question damaged themselves pretty badly this time. It's not about suicide, of course. But I still worry.
With cutters, is it better to show your worry and sadness or just accept it calmly?
So far, I've been trying the balanced approach. I dunno if it's the right thing though, and the person in question damaged themselves pretty badly this time. It's not about suicide, of course. But I still worry.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
I might be single now and Kory and I don't communicate anymore. (Even though I still care for her deeply.) I don't envy you and the problem the two of you face.
I found it to be a real mindfuck dealling with Kory and her acting out. For her it would be a panic attack reaction due to withdrawl from work pressure and into what seemed to me to be. A hellish controling parental relationship, her lack of individual selfesteem and having survived a rape - long before we met. When on tour or involved in a show everything seemed fine and she had to deal with the outside world she was amazing, flirty absolutly incandecent. ( And she had the most incredible exotic scent of a woman...making love to her was absolutly delicious.) and still be a complete perfectionist and people would just be blown away by her work ethic. I was the new guy on the crew and had this huge crush on her at the time. When we hooked up and I finally got her into my bed I thought I'd won the lottery.
But after that, when she let me in I learnt within days of her past events and this shadow world. At the end of the show, often every other night. She'd just fold up into herself and bail on our relationship. ( She'd burn herself with cigarettes when alone for short periods and when she was off the road or not in rehersals for lengths of time the cutting would happen.) Then come back all sorry and apoligenic and we'd have amazing make up sex and she'd make promisess of moving in staying off the road, so we could work on us and stopping the cutting and burning.
After a while, It made me feel like the villagers in that "Boy who cried wolf" fable. Dealing with this over several months and into the slow season was so hard. The reason we don't speak is I was the one who blew the whistle on all the burning and cutting. And when we ( I and her best friends as a group.) intervened she did the same thing to them . Promissed a bunch of changes and then she moved out east back to some bastard evil exhusband who she told me was touring to get away from and I think she remarried him, or for all I know she always was married to him. The biggest loss for me was another level of trust and I really get really overconcerned if i meet a woman who reminds me of how she acted ( Especially if she won't sleep over or let me make love to her with the lights on.)
Sorry this didn't mean to be a confession. I hope your situation is nowhere near this.