motorfirebox

I'm sometimes amazed at how few people consciously reject their systems of belief for the express purpose of examining them in as clear a light as possible. It seems to me that the vast majority of people believe what they were raised to believe; most of the rest believe either a variation of what they were raised to believe, or reactively seek out an opposing system of belief (eg, the kid raised in a strict christian household growing up to listen to death metal music and buy a subscription to SG). I think that at some level, most people understand and recognize this trend, but I don't think most people think it applies to them. I doubt most people consider what their system of belief would be if they had been raised in, say, an inbred Mormon sect, or a Sunni tribe that believes in female genital mutilation. If pressed, most like to believe that they would be the exception--that they would seek to escape such a belief system and culture, to better themselves. This, despite the fact that a huge number of people go to the same church their parents went to.

My amazement generally evaporates when I remember what a difficult task this actually is. When stressed, I pray. I am occasionally uncomfortable when listening to songs that mock christianity (for instance, Judith by A Perfect Circle). This behavior seems fairly hypocritical, considering that I consciously reject--and have rejected for all of my teenage and adult life--the idea that anyone is actually listening to my prayers, or is frowning down at me from on high for listening to the devil music. I can't help it, though; this is simply how my mind reacts to certain stimuli. I control these reactions as best I can, but it'd be very easy for me to slip under the comfortable blanket of belief that my upbringing wants me to accept.

I think that's the key to why so few people closely examine what they believe. Part of me wants to go to church; the fact that this desire springs only from old habit, and not from any actual faith or fear for my immortal soul, has no mitigating effect on that desire. By rejecting that part of me, I'm basically admitting to myself that I--the internal I, my mind, that which makes me me--is horribly fallible. And like all humans, my capacity for rational thought is limited, meaning that I can't necessarily think my way out of problems that my inner being can't guide me through. There is every chance that, on any issue, I could be completely and inescapably wrong.

To accept that, and then on top of that, to try to accept the idea that every person is wholly responsible for their every action--fuck, man, no wonder people don't like to think about this shit.