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mortuusnox

Lodi

Member Since 2004

Followers 72 Following 72

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Wednesday Oct 13, 2010

Oct 13, 2010
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i haven't had a cigarette since 9/19/10. the first couple of days were pretty rough and i was a total dick to everyone. i wasn't using anything to help me quit like gum or patches or anything. i just stopped. i've been having issues with my heart and my dad just had a heart attack. he's only 54. that kind of motivated me to stop.
i have been seeing a cardiologist a lot the last couple of months. the doctor finally came to a diagnosis/treatment plan. i have minor blockages causing angina. so now i have to take these little, time-released ntiro pills. i'm sure you've heard of people who carry around nitro for their heart in case they have an episode. well, this pill is basically that, but constantly running through my blood. i took my first one today. it has given me a mild headache that will not go away and a sense of being disconnected. the side effects should go away in a week or two, but i'm still expected to work and function like normal while i adjust.
i also have to stop drinking now because of the pill. not the best time for that in my opinion, but at least i can still smoke my little green friend. the pharmacist said i can have a glass of wine every once and a while. the internet says that alcohol will just intensify the side effects of the drug. i know that it will also help to destroy my liver very quickly. you can get a new liver if you need one can't you? i brew my own beer and can't drink it now. WTF?
so i'm a bit down right now. i've always enjoyed being intoxicated and very much preferred it to reality. not becaues i can't handle reality, but because reality just kind of sucks. reality is that we are in a recession. reality is that we are engaged in several different combat missions spread out accross the world. reality is that there are hundreds of wars going on elsewhere. reality is that my condo is only worth 25% of what i bought it for. reality is my dog is dying. reality is i will never get a record deal. ad infinitum.
who wants to live in reality?
bleh

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