morgue

It 's so hard to find a balance between what you see with your eyes and what people see in you. There are so many variables, so many possible combinations. But what is the real one? The right one?
I've always seen myself as the wrong one. The one from which everyone must stay away.
From elementary school I was ridiculed for my appearance. Maybe in a few passed to the "sympathetic", the one who told funny stories. But was it.
Growing up then I saw my classmates who already felt pretty "women," safe to pounce at their feet the first fowl in full hormonal phase.So until high school.
I'm turning 25 and I see myself as I was at that time, perhaps with 20kg less, a boyfriend and always looking for a job and maybe some stability.
But I'm not happy. At all.
Arrived at this point I do not even know what could make me happy.I am locked into myself. I'd like to talk about fun things, experiences, travelling like everyone else but, unfortunately, my life is so boring to suck myself.
I would like to be like everyone else but I do not know where to start.