monticello

So now I'm <gasp> 35. There's no looking back now. There's no pretending that something of the 20's remain, to keep me "cool" and "young" and "hip." (Whatever the fuck that means.) I'm waiting for the moderators of this fair site to kick my wrinky old ass off. If you do a search of the lovely and lucious Suicide Girls, you will be hard pressed to find one over the age of 25. I'm starting to feel like the female version of the lecherous old man who hangs around the entrance to the junior high girl's locker room to leer at the 14 year olds.

Is there something to be said for experience? Is there something that trumps the firm asses and candy-pink nipples of our Suicide Girls? Maturity? Knowledge? The world weary cynicism that comes from age? I'm not sure... but I do know that the world is no longer black and white -- which seems to be a mindset of the young. There are no longer "geeks" and "nerds" and "freaks" and "princesses". There's only people. I'm no longer a slave to the melodrama of youth -- there are no longer tragedies and armageddons. There's only problems that are solvable either with intelligence or with time or both. This is something I did not know when I was young.

So I find it ironic that I have surrounded myself with the attitudes and trappings of youth. I'm 35 and now is when I want my nipples pierced and want a tattoo on my chest and dye my hair ridiculous colors. It was only last year that I first tried marijuana. I was 30 when I first tried alcohol -- I shit you not. So here I am, well into my 30's, smiling wryly to myself over my own behaviour, and I have to grow up. I joined the PTA. This fall I will have to attend parent/teacher conferences. I worry about my kids seeing me smoke a cigarette.

So do these responsiblities trump the part of me that LOVES the Suicide Girls <leer, leer, leer> the part of me that wants my nipples pierced, the part of me that cranks the music when I listen to Green Day? Will I settle more into a 30's type of attitude when I turn 40?

Tune in next week, when these stunning questions, and other mysteries (will I ever get the lipgloss out the carpet? will I actually not pussy out and get my nipples pierced?) will be resolved....