monsterjoe

I started school yesterday. As much as I wanted my life back, I can't say that I'm overjoyed. I dunno.

I'm pessimistic. I'm on the borderline of a deep blue funk. He's an asshole, she's an asshole, wouldn't you like to be an asshole too? Be an asshole. Drink Dr. asshole.

Some of you may remember me trying to give away umbrella's in New York during a rain shower and my experiences doing it. In the mood I'm in I find myself going back to that scene again and again. Sometimes there's just no helping people. Sometimes there's no saving people. There's a line somewhere in the Bible. Jesus speaks about the straight and narrow path and about how only a few will take this path to heaven. Then he goes on to say that the wide and crooked path that leads to hell will have many people take it. The implication here is that more people will go to hell than heaven, and yet Jesus' whole message was of salvation for everyone. C.S. Lewis explores this idea in a book called "The Great Divorce." I recomend it. Then there's the scene in "The Matrix" where Agent Smith explains to Morpheus how the first attempt at the matrix was a virtual utopia, but none of the people in it believed it. It was too easy. What is it with people? Why is it that they hang on to the darkness and the suffering. Why is it that sometimes, whether they're bums or drug addicts or co-dependants, that they refuse to be saved? Why the fasination with violence, gore, and tragedy? What's the motivation?

I like people. I like being close to them. I like their help and I like to help them. They make me laugh. And women? They're a wonder to behold. But they also depress the hell out of me.