If this were twitter I'd be hashtagging myself #bridgejump right now.
I keep making mistakes but I'm not entirely sure which thing I've done is the real mistake and I do foolish and unfair things that make me look like an asshole- when I'm really not- and detract from my legitimate points. I need to give in and let go of my baggage but there are promises on the other side that need kept as well if it's not gonna be back to the same old thing.
Godfuckingdammit. Even though I think I'm the lesser evil here I am really hating myself tonight, to be honest. All I ever do is cause trouble for myself.
I can't tell which is the mountain and which is the molehill anymore. I'm losing my best friend.
With all of that said, though I recognize my contribution to the problems, it is not all my fault. Not at ALL, in fact I think while the root of my issues stems elsewhere a lot of their current manifestation is a result of actions from the other side. Which it would be nice to just have acknowledged. I know that I've done a lot for us and tried so, so hard. I've been patient, tried to understand, tried to
forgive, tried to be there, put so much work in, gave 150% of myself, made it my #1 priority, just
held it the fuck down really. But of course, I am always the problem and must be eliminated.
I need to start smoking weed.
I keep making mistakes but I'm not entirely sure which thing I've done is the real mistake and I do foolish and unfair things that make me look like an asshole- when I'm really not- and detract from my legitimate points. I need to give in and let go of my baggage but there are promises on the other side that need kept as well if it's not gonna be back to the same old thing.
Godfuckingdammit. Even though I think I'm the lesser evil here I am really hating myself tonight, to be honest. All I ever do is cause trouble for myself.
I can't tell which is the mountain and which is the molehill anymore. I'm losing my best friend.
With all of that said, though I recognize my contribution to the problems, it is not all my fault. Not at ALL, in fact I think while the root of my issues stems elsewhere a lot of their current manifestation is a result of actions from the other side. Which it would be nice to just have acknowledged. I know that I've done a lot for us and tried so, so hard. I've been patient, tried to understand, tried to
forgive, tried to be there, put so much work in, gave 150% of myself, made it my #1 priority, just
held it the fuck down really. But of course, I am always the problem and must be eliminated.
I need to start smoking weed.
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But then too, if the person can't see how much you're trying to do the right thing or how much you care about them, then maybe it's not worth having them in your life.
Just remember to do what's best for yourself at the end of the day, girl. Life's not a guaranteed occurrence, so we have to live fully without too much regard for things we can only control so much. <3
x0!