monovox

I think that I need a break. I am sure that I will be back after while. Anyways, as somebody wiser than I said; letting your account lapse is the new going anonymous...

Take care all. I'll see ya around sometime.

I took an impromptu day off. A mental health day so to speak... After a great breakfast at the cricket cafe (yummy vegetarian biscuits and gravy with boca sausage. mmmmm) I took a long motorcycle ride up to Mt. St. Helens and then east through the back forest roads. Absolutely no traffic- just miles and miles on end of tight twisting road. I was grinning...
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So ya... I don't come around here much anymore. It has been a strange summer for me. The weather is too nice but I have been too lost. Lost in the world and in myself. I keep looking for my guiding star... but I somehow don't recognize the sky anymore.

Although I have been working way to much lately (to burnout proportions) this weekend has...
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A path diverging from any one world...Solitude as sacriment...Terrapin homeencrusted, embedded deep...Tarnished passion mementos scattered asunder...Future unfurled as river flows...Purchased life, a harlot scribblers search.




... i'm out

I'm having the weirdest fucking dream... this is a dream right?

~~~~~

So, I am starting to suspect that this not a dream... I am not sure what gave me the first clue, but I don't think that I remember choking back bile or overwhelming waves of mental nausea in my dreams before...

~~~~~
All work and no play...

~~~~~

I see a clearing in...
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I could tell you the tale of this day, but you would not believe me.

You would read it and say that I am spinning a yarn, a story of gross proportions that could not possibly be true.

Never in my life have I had a day that fit, puzzle piece, together as today in such a surreal, raw and mindblowing way.

I sat at...
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thurs.

I am finally feeling the sun is here to stay for a time. I spent time this afternoon sitting in the sun overlooking the river and it felt great. Color is coming back to my translucent white skin. I am finally feeling like I can plan rain free time!!! Motorcycle trips amd overnight romps outside, Oh my!

I am still looking for suggestions for...
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thurs-

I am charged.
bursting.
full to the brim.
my eyes burn deep
full of intensity.
my skin is flush.
pacing back and forth
Insatiable hunger
manic desire...

volatile, I can hardly stand it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fri-

suicide is painless, it brings on many changes... but it is also so damn final. So... I decided on a Root Canal first thing this morning instead.


---

I...
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So things are a little better. I am still feeling a bit fuzzy in the noggin though. I don't have the usual focus or balance of mind that I like... oh well. such is life. I am trying to pull out 4 days off for the memorial day weekend so that will be good. I need it.

right now it's a nice warm evening, I...
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I make an attempt to speak, yet my words hang in the air stale and lifeless.

I open my mouth and an arid wind escapes. nothing lays behind the weak wind but a moldering shriveled tongue. I have nothing to say, there are no thoughts. just a dull blank stare and a feeling of never ending falling.

In past weeks, my dreams have slowly dryed...
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