I am exhausted!

Didn't sleep well and was up at 5 am to help a friend with a shoot doing prop stills for some jennifer anniston and steve zahn movie that is in production here. You know, when there are pictures of an actor when they are young or family portraits on the walls that are in movies? someone has to shoot them.

This morning...
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Depression is something that I have dealt with my whole life, but I have a hard time admitting to myself when I am in the midst of.

Throughout my life, I have always had to be the strong one and it is hard to break that, even when it is no longer true. Unfortunately, it is usually at a breaking point before I can look...
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Depression is really stupid. It makes no fucking sense at all.

ASS, I say!






At least the sun is out for a little peak, I am off on a long motorcycle ride to try and clear out the cobwebs...

and the sludge,

and the...

and now for something completely different...



so fucked up... seriously tears came and everything. Well, tears combined with with beer coming out my nose... but ya.

It's funny where you might find yourself at times in your life. You know, your walking down the warm familiar street that is your life and all of a sudden everything is different...no longer warm and familiar. No familiar landmarks. Nothing comfortable nor inviting. only the foreign and cold where home use to be. You walk and walk and it's all different. You realize that...
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I am done in and undone. I am tired. pace, pace, back and forth. brain lungs battered and weeping from abuse. brain screams white noise, fuzzy patterns partially formed, dissipating when touched. no sleep, no respite. same old story. same old tune.


blah, blah, blah.

Santa Fe, NM.

I moved from Santa Fe to Portland 16 years ago. This is my first time back. I thought that I was prepared for the changes, but I wasn't. got a bit cranky last night after driving around searching for anything familiar... It is just a different town. I mean, what did I expect after 16 years? After all, part of the reason...
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I am in Monument Valley, Arizona tonight. The ride today was amazing. Thuncder and lightning storms all around me, but never got rained on. Made for a much cooler day as well. Tomorrow I think I am heading through the park and towards the 4 corners area before heading to santa fe. It's been a very long time since I have been back (since I...
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I am in the desert of southern utah by Zions national park. It is very beautiful, I miss the living in the desert, but the people in utah would drive me nuts. I was going to move on tomorrow, but in a systems check of the motorcycle, the tires were getting pretty worn. I could probably get a couple thousand more miles out of them,...
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