I've had some good days off and all to myself. Although it is good, I am very prone to living too much in my head. It is difficult to to come out of when I come back to civilization. I think that I need things in my life to be a little more concrete for a time. Ah shit, who knows what I need. I am fairly dissatisfied with life at this moment.
Well, the state of oregon has decided that now would be a good time to mark me for a random tax audit for the year 2000... (unfortunately this also means having to deal with the wrath of my ex-wife who is sure think that I somehow did this to her.)...My biz office was broken into over the weekend and I have cops all over the place. finger print dust is messy... I just found out that my nieghbor across the street died a month ago and I have been totally oblivious to it or his poor wife... The world is full of madness...I think that my time with sg is coming to an end soon. I am trying to paint though. At least I am sitting in front of the paints and staring at the canvas...
"All I want is to be a happy man..." -Sparklehorse
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I have that feeling... you know. the one where you are dreaming and you wake up or so you think... but you are still dreaming and it happens over and over again. haziness and then clarity only to realize that you were not clear... and repeat. I don't mean to be abstract, but it really is. I can't relate to you any physicallity to it. there is no goal in mind. it is just the road ahead in my mind. and behind for that matter. Just when I think that I have found something really important, I look up to see just how small it and I really am. it doesn't end.
Well, the state of oregon has decided that now would be a good time to mark me for a random tax audit for the year 2000... (unfortunately this also means having to deal with the wrath of my ex-wife who is sure think that I somehow did this to her.)...My biz office was broken into over the weekend and I have cops all over the place. finger print dust is messy... I just found out that my nieghbor across the street died a month ago and I have been totally oblivious to it or his poor wife... The world is full of madness...I think that my time with sg is coming to an end soon. I am trying to paint though. At least I am sitting in front of the paints and staring at the canvas...
"All I want is to be a happy man..." -Sparklehorse
----------------------------------------------------------
I have that feeling... you know. the one where you are dreaming and you wake up or so you think... but you are still dreaming and it happens over and over again. haziness and then clarity only to realize that you were not clear... and repeat. I don't mean to be abstract, but it really is. I can't relate to you any physicallity to it. there is no goal in mind. it is just the road ahead in my mind. and behind for that matter. Just when I think that I have found something really important, I look up to see just how small it and I really am. it doesn't end.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
user8935778:
im coming over. ill be there for dinner. i want curry.
autumn:
I hate coming to these kind of realizations. Its sometimes good to just be numb about everything and not know whats goin on. Sometimes it's too much. Everyone want's to be happy.. I think it's overratted cause when u finally are happy you don't realize it till your not anymore. Good luck to you. Im glad u like the new hair but It has changed again.
