monovox

I went out to dinner with my ex tonight. It's been nice to be able to see each other without allot of angst... It's been over a year. Everything was very pleasant until half way through dinner she started acting all weird and then finally blurts out that she has been seeing someone and that she didn't think that she would ever feel the way she had felt about me for someone else and well, she thinks that she does for this guy. and well I knew who it was and all that shit.

I made it through dinner pretty well, wondering why I was feeling very... flush. I am not easily flustered by much, But by the time I dropped her off, I don't think that I heard a thing that she said... I was obviously heated. I don't want to say that I am pissed or angry, because it's not like I'm jealous. I don't want her. This seemed to be coming more from my body than my emotions... It is soo weird that I would be reacting now. Aaaaaargh!

Plus stupid fuckin self pity that I have an empty bed waiting for me ... I really need a cigarette god dammit! : :