Recently I’ve been stretching my poetic legs and creating some of the most vibrant and vivid prose of this age.
To continue in that vein I’ve constructed what may well be considered my masterpiece by future generations and certainty not something I made up as I went along!
The essence of time has long been pondered by scholars and fuckwits alike. This is my interpretation,...
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I thought I’d attempt yet another masterpiece of poetry about a fantastic voyage I dreamt about after eating too many cheese puffs.
Begins
I gaze above and see its shine, I gaze in awe I must go dine
upon the cheese I’ve heard is bella , better than cheddar or mozzarella
I build a ship from metal and wood, fly to the moon? I think...
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In olde English I would be known as a bounder, a bohemian cad, a country rogue, a gentleman fop, possibly a sexual tyrannosaurus? But probably not. My neighbor Mrs. Jones asked me if I’d like to see her toothless gibbon, I have no idea what she meant, but I’m more of a chimp man myself!
I have many talents one of which I mentioned in...
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This poem was inspired by what critics have called the greatest movie ever made ‘Honey I shrunk the kids’.
Begins
As I stood in an attic dark, the shrinking ray had missed its mark
A baseball flew through the window pane, shattering glass and splintering frame.
The ray had swung and to my surprise, struck me right between the eyes
Stepping back I howled in...
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Captain Roy was a man of few words, his tongue had been eaten by a flock of birds.
Every night he writhed in bed, a lizard man had shaved his head.
He ate only fish he caught with a hook, his penis got crushed by a heavy book.
His friends despised his withered hand, he couldn’t keep time in their covers band
Captain Roy was...
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I thought it might be helpful to describe a typical day in my so called life, but first some background.
It may surprise you to know that monkey table isn’t my real name but an alias I made up to sound cool, my name is really Crackerjack Von Muffledscream. I have no concept of a blog and never will. I am fond of people but...
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