Here are some facts about me:

1) I created the characters ‘the man with the characteristics of a spider’ and ‘that guy wearing a type of robotic suit’ but Marvel changed the names to ‘Spider-Man’ and ‘Ironman’

2) I don’t eat food but absorb energy by touching overhead power cables.

3) I was once found smouldering in a ditch after touching overhead power cables.

4) I can retract my testicles so far into my body it looks like I have 3 Adam’s apples

5) I once shaved my testicles so smooth my underwear kept falling off through lack of friction.

6) I write poetry which has been described as ‘the words make my eyes bleed’ by critics (examples can be read in my other blog posts)

7) I have a cat named Radnor the soul shitter.

8) I was once kidnapped by squirrels.

9) my favourite smells are wood preserve, the tears of a clown and pirates

10) I was once shot into orbit after I accidentally overwound my homemade medieval siege machine.

Thanks and now it’s your turn. I want to get to know the real you

Toodlepip, Monkeytable