I thought I’d attempt yet another masterpiece of poetry about a fantastic voyage I dreamt about after eating too many cheese puffs.

Begins

I gaze above and see its shine, I gaze in awe I must go dine

upon the cheese I’ve heard is bella , better than cheddar or mozzarella

I build a ship from metal and wood, fly to the moon? I think I should.

The rocket is built, is this dumb? I must go home and ask my mum.

‘Mom’ I say ‘I’m off to the moon’, She replies ‘don’t be dumb you fucking goon‘

undeterred I board the rocket, take a match out from my pocket

Light the fuse and off I go, the engines scream, oh what a show

The pressure builds, I’m in a trance, oh my god I’ve shit my pants!

The earth grows small, the moon enhanced, I wipe my arse on some potted plants.

I’m touching down on the moon, I step outside on a lunar dune.

There is no cheese I don’t know why, was ‘A Grand Day Out’ just a lie?

Wallace and Gromit no longer heroes, they lied to me the plasticine zeros

I board my rocket I must go back, the thrust of the engines has crushed my sack.

I enter earth but somethings wrong, no buildings where they once belong..ed

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

The end

The last part of the poem was a twist in the story and although it didn’t rhyme in any way it’s a completely original way to suggest the world had been destroyed whilst on my heroic quest!

Again if anyone would like me to write a masterful poem perhaps as the perfect gift for a loved one or a dying pet, I would be honoured to do so free of charge!

Monkeytable