In olde English I would be known as a bounder, a bohemian cad, a country rogue, a gentleman fop, possibly a sexual tyrannosaurus? But probably not. My neighbor Mrs. Jones asked me if I’d like to see her toothless gibbon, I have no idea what she meant, but I’m more of a chimp man myself!

I have many talents one of which I mentioned in my first blog, but my greatest is time travel. I possess the ability to lay in bed, close my eyes and when I open them 8 hours have passed, quite amazing I’m sure!
My best friend Lying Jim says he can ride his bike backwards up the freeway in the dark and I have no reason to doubt him, nor does my cat Radnor the Soul Shitter.

I have never mentioned my cat before and that’s because I live in fear of him, but he can lick his own love balloons which is a talent I wish I possessed. I found him in an abandoned Pygmy village in the South Pacific, which was nice.

As you can probably tell from some of my recent posts I’m what some have called ‘a poetry genius’ and have been told that if I carry on, one day they’ll be good enough to read without making your eyes bleed, which is encouraging.

If you would like a poem I’m open to commissions, any subject free of charge. Maybe it would make an ideal birthday gift or curse for a mortal enemy, you choose.

Monkeytable