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monkeytable

Member Since 2009

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The Ballad of a Shrunken Man

Jul 29, 2020
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This poem was inspired by what critics have called the greatest movie ever made ‘Honey I shrunk the kids’.

Begins

As I stood in an attic dark, the shrinking ray had missed its mark

A baseball flew through the window pane, shattering glass and splintering frame.

The ray had swung and to my surprise, struck me right between the eyes

Stepping back I howled in pain, the searing light had fried my brain.

My chest grew tight and my arms went numb, a gaseous explosion ripped from my bum

My legs got shorter, this was heinous, oh my god not my penis!

And there I stood my breath a pant, I was now no bigger than an ant

I must find help, I can’t stay small, I must find a phone and make a call

A phone was laying on the floor, I couldn’t press the buttons my coordination was poor.

I ran outside and after many an hour, climbed on top of a tall pink flower.

I surveyed my surroundings, I did decide, in this flower the rest of my life would hide.

I lived a life on my knees, having it off with some slutty bees.

Other adventures were probably had, but I got bored of writing and went to bed.

End

monkeytable:
I’m most proud of this poem, I believe I’ve now reached the writing capability of a 4th grader!
Jul 29, 2020

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