ok ive been away for a while - playing playstation 2 and recovering from so much drunkin debauchery. its really appearent that ive been misbehaving cuz my complexion is for shit...
on a different note, hmmm do i really want to tell this here? well i started to but i just erased it all.
the long and the short of it. years ago, an old friend of mine really betrayed my confidence. in a really big way, its hard to describe the degree to wich this transgression effected me without describing the details, but the truth is i have no desire to rehash ancient history. lets just say that my entire lifes course was altered based on the incident in question. ok so anyways ive pretty much hated (yes intently dispised, wished harm on, and really actually hated) this guy for quite some time. but on new years eve i decided to burry the hatchet. i really had nothing to say to him so when i saw him i just went up and gave him a big hug. it was my way of letting him know that ive put the past behind me. i still have no desire to be his "friend" but i have no desire to wast any energy letting his exsistance bother me. well see how it goes.
now this sounds like it should be a good thing, but the more i think about it, it sorta depresses me. (i know dont think about it, right?) just fallow me for a second. here is my problem. im worried im becomeing complacent.
nope wait i just realized i still hate him - everyting is cool. whew i was worried there for a minute that i was losing the ability to reamin passionate over extended periods of time. i feel much better now. yes - still hate his guts. i never thought id feel so good about hating someone.
i know it would not be wise to act on my feeling of contempt. i guess thats what i was realizing on new years eve.
on a different note, hmmm do i really want to tell this here? well i started to but i just erased it all.
the long and the short of it. years ago, an old friend of mine really betrayed my confidence. in a really big way, its hard to describe the degree to wich this transgression effected me without describing the details, but the truth is i have no desire to rehash ancient history. lets just say that my entire lifes course was altered based on the incident in question. ok so anyways ive pretty much hated (yes intently dispised, wished harm on, and really actually hated) this guy for quite some time. but on new years eve i decided to burry the hatchet. i really had nothing to say to him so when i saw him i just went up and gave him a big hug. it was my way of letting him know that ive put the past behind me. i still have no desire to be his "friend" but i have no desire to wast any energy letting his exsistance bother me. well see how it goes.
now this sounds like it should be a good thing, but the more i think about it, it sorta depresses me. (i know dont think about it, right?) just fallow me for a second. here is my problem. im worried im becomeing complacent.
nope wait i just realized i still hate him - everyting is cool. whew i was worried there for a minute that i was losing the ability to reamin passionate over extended periods of time. i feel much better now. yes - still hate his guts. i never thought id feel so good about hating someone.
i know it would not be wise to act on my feeling of contempt. i guess thats what i was realizing on new years eve.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
JVB
JVB