monkeypox

due to circumstances beyond my control....

i can just tell that im about to enter one of those morbidly dramatic periods of time. i really hate that. i hate drama, but sometimes, even thou i hate it, i get so cought up in it, that it skews everything. normally i think i do a pretty good job of maintaining a reasonably functional relationship with my surroundings. but you cant account for everything and sooner or later something comes along to throw everything off balance. its probably never any one thing, just an accumulation of everything.

the highs get higher but the peaks are narrower and further between. and the lows - well it goes without saying. everylittle thing takes on a hidden meaning and its signifacance is magnified, and the real issues get blown way out of perportion. best not to dwell on it. i can tell its already begun.

luckily right now, this moment at least, is enveloped in an absurd appreciation for the meal i just ate. hot dogs cooked in my broken toaster oven then wraped with cheese in stale tortillas. i microwaved the little bastards to melt the cheese and soften the tortilla and damn if it wasnt one of the best things ive ever eaten.

see what i mean - drama

i also just finished watchig river's edge. now i already know its a good movie. but right now its got so much fucking importance, its just retarded. right now it feels like the best cinamatic example of life in the eighties, at least for me. im not talking the plot lines. just the emotions and mentality, even the clothes. it all just seemed very believable.

on a different yet remotely related note...another film i highly reccomend seeing is a thin blue line. (not a thin red line the war movie with an all star cast, although ive never seen a thin red line maybe its good) even if you dont like court related documentaries, a thin blue line is still very thought provoking.

as far as the drama goes - be prepared for contradictions, snap judgements, short tempers, a whole lot of over analzations.

this is not a test