monkeypox

well i feel like im becoming more and more introverted every day. im not sure if my actions reflect this or not as i find myself in strange situations with strange people just in the hopes of keeping myself entertained. its a distraction i suppose while its happening, but mostly its depressing and kinda dangerous.

i hate that my mobility (and just about everything else) is hindered by my lack of funds. at times my life is exciting and i feel accomplished for creating a lifestyle wich enables me to live my dreams, and other times it feels so empty and worthless. i find my self enduring the passing of time untill the next bit of excitement or awsomeness happens. the up and downs are draining!

i really miss having a close friend to share activites with, or care about, or be cared for by. i do know lots of people - but it all seems to be superficial. maybe its my fault cuz i seem to keep my guard up.