Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other
religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception
of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects
- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider
your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed
to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other
religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people
evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune
God.
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah
slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination
of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about
gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy
Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the
scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find
nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting
in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception
of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects
- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider
your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed
to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking
in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered
prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think
that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about
the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a
Christian.