monkeybuttt

the kittys name is jewels.

when i first got her, in 1994, i was totally in love with pulp fiction. i thought it was the best american film since whatever. i got two kitties at the same time. the girl: jewels. the boy: vincent. i was very pleased with how clever i was.

3 months later vincent died in his sleep. he had a bad cat disease. i watched him take his last breath. it was unpleasant. jewels never fully recovered. i got another cat named fox, a boy, about a year old in october of 1995. he was a sweet cat...his meow (or miao, depending on where you were raised) was steady and plaintive and almost accusatory, and i took him home on the spot.

jewels absolutely loved him. they would sleep together wrapped up tight in paws and furthe best of friends. i should post a picture of them. its so sweet.

in november of 1998 i moved to los angeles and, for a period of 9 months, i found it necessary to leave jewels and fox with my mother and stepfather. they lived (and still do, i suppose) in pahrump, nevada, a small town of 30,000 or so about an hour west of las vegas.

when i came back in august of 1999, fox was long gone. apparently, according to my sister brandy, who was 19 at the time, she hadn't seen him for months. despite my request, both cats had been allowed outside, at night, when coyotes ruled the cold nevada desert.

i had lost many cats in the past. thoughts of jones, dusty, puss, boots, snowball, poodelee, and allah...

i walked out into the backyard. this is nevada in the early august heat. the open desert, green strip of golf course beyond the dense sagebrush. the clouds have created something incredible and dark and infernal over to the east...the wind, since i arrived 20 minutes ago, has picked up noticeably. i am reminded of thick november skies when i would run outside and wish for lightning and thunder and doom.

not more than 15 seconds after i walked outside, i heard a sweet, sad, hopeful meow from my right. jewels burst from the bushes up against the house and ran up to me. i picked her up and kissed her and told her how much i had missed her. we had a small lovefest right there in the backyard. i remember crying. then we walked back through the house and outside, and i put her in the u-haul. she accepted this with ease. it seemed that as long as she was protected, she was comfortable.

while jewels was safe in the truck, my wife christina and i had to get my possessions out of the shed in the back of the house and transfer them to the u-haul. when we had parked in the driveway, the skies had begun to darken considerably. by the time we opened those shed doors, the sky was almost pitch black. i have not experienced anything remotely similiar. i felt frozen, watching the dust devils bouncing across the desert. hearing the wind shriek with its hideous feverish voice. realizing my illusions of control are indeed illusions. these memories are in my mind forever. we fought off black widows and vinegaroons and wasps

finally we loaded up and were ready to go. my sister had told us my mother and stepfather were on an ambulance run somewhere in the pahrump valleyi had also heard brandy mention to another caller that my mother and stepfather had gone to las vegas to go shopping. i imagine going to vegas to shop was the more plausible choice. i have not had any actual conversations with my mother or stepfather since december of 1998...

the entire trip home to los angeles, jewels was pressed up against my right thigh, tight up against me. she didnt move. she shifted with my weight all night long.