monkeybutt

today is reality.
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Scared to be alone
Frightened of the dark
Everything's too much
For a boy out of touch with his feelings

I must be to blame
I must be at fault
I believe I'm never good enough
To shine a light that lingers

I have witnessed starbursts in your coal
black eyes
I am what I try to deny
I have seen...
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you put on your raincoat
cause it looks like it just might today
and you grab your keys
you're out the door
before you know where you're going.

if blame, as they say, is for god and little kids
then you're deserving of praise or a slap on the wrist
cause you can't help but blame yourself
for your long face

not a day passes...
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ok, so bateman has gone anonymous. best wishes to him. please, all of you, send him some wishes. i hope he's back soon, because i quite like him.

i'm watching a movie tonight. it's called stir crazy. supposedly it's funny.

something great and fun is happening two weeks from tonight. in fact, probably exactly two weeks from right now.

i am buying some fennel this...
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Im kind of at a loss for words today so Im sitting here in my office in the bare sunlight typing non-sequiturs. Wishing I didnt have auto-correct on the ms word but not wanting to do enough searching to try to turn it off. So its rather tough to actually make mistakes, or use small letters to start off sentences with, or kill my ego...
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Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - burn with a weak heart
(So I) guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It's ok I know nothing's wrong . . nothing

Hi yo...
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the look before i go
is the look for you
you only have to look and it will all come true
and we can fall outside
into the fizzy night
or pull me down in here
you know it's all the same
i only want to see if you are happy again
or we can roll around
and find out upside down

a few hours...
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i've felt my entire life that i've been pretty well protected from death, except for when i tried to bring it on myself. my grandfather died when i was 15 of lung cancer. although i had been close with him as a child, i hadn't spoken to him for many years and never saw him after i turned 10. he's the closest relative i've ever...
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time to update, as i'm quite a bit in love these days. it's finally done raining in los angeles. school starts in 3 or so weeks.

some choice cure lyrics to reflect the current state of mind:

halo

I never felt like this with anyone before
You only have to smile and I'm dizzy
You make the world go round
A thousand times an hour...
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