Im kind of at a loss for words today so Im sitting here in my office in the bare sunlight typing non-sequiturs. Wishing I didnt have auto-correct on the ms word but not wanting to do enough searching to try to turn it off. So its rather tough to actually make mistakes, or use small letters to start off sentences with, or kill my ego by not capitalizing i. well, there you go, it didnt capitalize. Maybe the computer is getting used to my style. This wont be so much a story but a stream of consciousness rant as I digest my beet/carrot/celery/apple/ginger juice and think how great my hair must look with its burgundy accents.
I dont know what the future says. It hasnt said it yet. its still mulling over the present. Someone said anxiety is the future and depression is the past, but we dont know what the fuck the present is. Thats why we cant be happy with rest. We cant just wait and see, and hunker down and hide when we need to. You inspire me, I know that. You make me dream and you make me smile and you make me laugh and you make me cry and you make me wonder and you make me think about you at the oddest times, and sometimes at all the times, like what I told you today. How sometimes over the weekend I would see a girl and for a brief beautiful second I would think it was you, that you had surprised me and without telling me had somehow found where I was in a city of millions and were coming to give me a kiss and a hug.
I love how I say Im at a loss for words and these two paragraphs have poured out of me in seconds. I would be the most amazing writer the world has ever known if somehow I could just link up to a computer with my mind and think the story out. I have so many worlds in my head. Id like to show you a few. You bring them to the foreground, up to my forehead and out of my eyes and my mouth and sometimes my pen and mostly today the keyboard. I look at your pictures and I think to myself how beautiful you are and how accepting of me you are. I dont know what will come and that uncertainty bears odd dreams. Dreams shaped like clouds high in a fearless blue forever sky that make me wonder where Im going and if you should be there with me.
I dont know what the future says. It hasnt said it yet. its still mulling over the present. Someone said anxiety is the future and depression is the past, but we dont know what the fuck the present is. Thats why we cant be happy with rest. We cant just wait and see, and hunker down and hide when we need to. You inspire me, I know that. You make me dream and you make me smile and you make me laugh and you make me cry and you make me wonder and you make me think about you at the oddest times, and sometimes at all the times, like what I told you today. How sometimes over the weekend I would see a girl and for a brief beautiful second I would think it was you, that you had surprised me and without telling me had somehow found where I was in a city of millions and were coming to give me a kiss and a hug.
I love how I say Im at a loss for words and these two paragraphs have poured out of me in seconds. I would be the most amazing writer the world has ever known if somehow I could just link up to a computer with my mind and think the story out. I have so many worlds in my head. Id like to show you a few. You bring them to the foreground, up to my forehead and out of my eyes and my mouth and sometimes my pen and mostly today the keyboard. I look at your pictures and I think to myself how beautiful you are and how accepting of me you are. I dont know what will come and that uncertainty bears odd dreams. Dreams shaped like clouds high in a fearless blue forever sky that make me wonder where Im going and if you should be there with me.
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
datsun:
I emailed it to Sean. If you could send it to lil_tuffy or Clara, that would be awesome. And if you don't like hateful venom, avoid Rectum at all costs. He's awful.
datsun:
you too! 