monkeybutt

just spoke to my neighbor:

THE CAMERA HAS ARRIVED.

of course, the fucking 512 mb card i ordered is backordered. blargh. so i cancelled it and will go into the store to buy one later on today.

so tomorrow, you fools...pics of EVERYTHING.



***
"fer geckogirl...


So messed up I want you here
In my room I want you here
Now were gonna be...
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THIS should arrive sometime tomorrow. i'm very happy. you'll all be inundated with so many ridiculous pictures you'll wish you never met me.

sometimes i hate this site.

****

as i have already told the lovely francalingua, these lyrics are sort of where i am today.

*
i am slowing down
as the years go by
i am sinking

so i trick myself
like...
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i'm after the sun. most of the people here won't figure me out. i once wanted you to come out here, once, but now the glass is fogged. you know the feeling.

remember when we ran across the field, full, sun, all around and about, we ran forever. i thought you were my only one. i thought you lasted on and on. i thought for...
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i've tracked mud all over. i'm having shin hot flashes. shin menopause. my grandfather wants to be an alligator in some imaginary world. boss ain't around so don't cry. fuck all this. some idiotic russian almost ran over a possum in the rain last night. same idiotic russian tried to swerve into my lane while the two lanes merged. i have nothing against russians in...
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ok, i'm done with this fucking garlic cleanse that made me stink and kept me up all night with headaches and random dreams about the revolution. thanks to geckogirl for realizing i needed it after my demon slaughter chainsaw dreams from the other night. go tell her how cool you think she is, because she happens to be my best friend, and she's pretty damn...
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so after all the pushing and shoving and pressure i finally bowed down and saw 'million dollar baby' tonight. my feelings against this movie were quite strong, although several folks had praised it. surprisingly, although it's not the best film i've even seen, it's certainly not bad. not best picture caliber, but quite pleasant. clint is finally acting his age. morgan freeman was very laid...
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thank you laura.

*

last night before i went to sleep i pictured myself in a huge field, all alone under a high full moon. i pictured myself releasing pain from my heart and my head, all my bad habits of needing to medicate myself in order to manipulate my creativity. all the things i do in order to embalm myself against pain and also...
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ok, storytime is over.

wow, when i feel this shitty, i feel like i have to go apologize to everyone for something i may or may not have done. i don't know which way is up. talk about my dark places. they're pitch black. caves i haven't excavated in years. hidden by time and death and lost dreams. fuck.

*
ok feeling better now. had...
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as most if not all of you know, i have been having a rather torrid sexual affair with one of the women in my office. well, this morning, things got rather strange.

i arrived here and the door was open. apparently it had been open most of the night because there was rainwater flooded into the main room. she was laying on the sofa, passed...
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