How To Work In A Somewhat Adult Themed Store:
1) Quickly come to the realization that not everyone who buys sexual items will be attractive.
2) Yes, the Naughty Nurse totally comes in a 2X.
3) It really embarrasses people when you ask them if they need help while you have a handful of vibrating rings and/ or lube.
4) Do NOT try to eat a whole thing of edible body paint. You will vomit.
5) Odds are that your co-workers will feel compelled to tell all about their sex life. After all, it is a very sex-driven environment sometimes....
6) DO NOT! I repeat... DO NOT approach the lady who has sat down in the floor with a box and has proceeded to take the vibrator out of the box and check the nodules and speed adjustments. It will hurt your insides so much you would probably die.
7) Ask everyone who comes out the "LOVE SECTION" with an adult item if they are 18. If you don't, you may end up having a nice little conversation with someone's father explaining to them why you sold their 14 year old daughter an 8 inch sex toy. That could make for an awkward moment.
8) Have a sense of humor. You won't survive a day without it!
9) When someone in their mid 40's comes up to the counter with a toy, expect the unexpected comments. I once got to hear about how my manager own 4 vibrators, but only uses one. Not a pleasant day for me.
10) Understand that people are gonna steal the craziest shit. Everything from personal lube to a "How to Strip Like a Stripper" kit, people will take them.
11) Don't be surprised when you look around and see some the raunchiest makeout sessions. it's gonna happen.
12) Enjoy reading. I'm currently working on "Sex Advice From...." Reading funny sex books will get you through the day.
13) Don't question why the adult section is located right, smack dab in the middle of the store. Yes, everyone has to pass it to get to the back, even the kids, but for some reason, it's there. I don't get the logic.
14) It's a great time to browse for yourself! Take advantage of it! You may be able to use your employee discount!
Now, i think that about covers it....
Nope! Here are some more:
15) Your boss's boss will be a very normal looking man with some wild stories about how he carries a gun to shoot squirrels. From there the conversation will go to how he has always wanted raccoon underwear.
16) When family comes in the store, they will kind of be embarassed that you are ringing up the multipack of "Good Head" and "Lick-me-Lickier" while they are trying to talk to you.
17) Your co-workers will be some of the most out-there kind of people. They will severe issues that will come up every once in a while. They will still be fun most of the time though.
18) We do NOT take returns or exchanges or anything else that customers can try to get out of you if it is involving body jewelery, clearance items, or adult items. SEX TOYS ARE INCLUDED! I'M SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT! HERE IS THE TRASHCAN AND THERE IS THE DOOR, YOU SICK MOFO!
19) Men will come up with craziest things for you to do if it gives them 5 seconds of a great view. I have now played "Pick Up Stixxx" and ripped apart many bottom shelves for no real reason other than the fact that i was bent over or squatting. (Notice the xxx on the end of Stixxx. it's a pretty funny twist on the game)
20) You will be propositioned to try on the "Dirrrty Cop" outfit at least once. I don't care what you look like.
21) People will ask you which edible underwear tastes the best. I tend to lean toward the classic non cotton ones. I've never eaten any other kind....
22) You will giggle every time you walk through the store. Mr. Nose will make you want to pee your pant. (If you don't know who Mr. Nose is, just ask me)
23)You'll find that most people who come in the store will just be trying to kill some time. Just let them browse. Most of them smell funny anyway.
24) There will always be an inner battle over whether or not to buy something that intimate in front of people you work with. You really want to be able to use your 20% employee discount, but is it worth it to know that your co-workers will always know that you bought the "White Night Set"?
1) Quickly come to the realization that not everyone who buys sexual items will be attractive.
2) Yes, the Naughty Nurse totally comes in a 2X.
3) It really embarrasses people when you ask them if they need help while you have a handful of vibrating rings and/ or lube.
4) Do NOT try to eat a whole thing of edible body paint. You will vomit.
5) Odds are that your co-workers will feel compelled to tell all about their sex life. After all, it is a very sex-driven environment sometimes....
6) DO NOT! I repeat... DO NOT approach the lady who has sat down in the floor with a box and has proceeded to take the vibrator out of the box and check the nodules and speed adjustments. It will hurt your insides so much you would probably die.
7) Ask everyone who comes out the "LOVE SECTION" with an adult item if they are 18. If you don't, you may end up having a nice little conversation with someone's father explaining to them why you sold their 14 year old daughter an 8 inch sex toy. That could make for an awkward moment.
8) Have a sense of humor. You won't survive a day without it!
9) When someone in their mid 40's comes up to the counter with a toy, expect the unexpected comments. I once got to hear about how my manager own 4 vibrators, but only uses one. Not a pleasant day for me.
10) Understand that people are gonna steal the craziest shit. Everything from personal lube to a "How to Strip Like a Stripper" kit, people will take them.
11) Don't be surprised when you look around and see some the raunchiest makeout sessions. it's gonna happen.
12) Enjoy reading. I'm currently working on "Sex Advice From...." Reading funny sex books will get you through the day.
13) Don't question why the adult section is located right, smack dab in the middle of the store. Yes, everyone has to pass it to get to the back, even the kids, but for some reason, it's there. I don't get the logic.
14) It's a great time to browse for yourself! Take advantage of it! You may be able to use your employee discount!
Now, i think that about covers it....
Nope! Here are some more:
15) Your boss's boss will be a very normal looking man with some wild stories about how he carries a gun to shoot squirrels. From there the conversation will go to how he has always wanted raccoon underwear.
16) When family comes in the store, they will kind of be embarassed that you are ringing up the multipack of "Good Head" and "Lick-me-Lickier" while they are trying to talk to you.
17) Your co-workers will be some of the most out-there kind of people. They will severe issues that will come up every once in a while. They will still be fun most of the time though.
18) We do NOT take returns or exchanges or anything else that customers can try to get out of you if it is involving body jewelery, clearance items, or adult items. SEX TOYS ARE INCLUDED! I'M SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT! HERE IS THE TRASHCAN AND THERE IS THE DOOR, YOU SICK MOFO!
19) Men will come up with craziest things for you to do if it gives them 5 seconds of a great view. I have now played "Pick Up Stixxx" and ripped apart many bottom shelves for no real reason other than the fact that i was bent over or squatting. (Notice the xxx on the end of Stixxx. it's a pretty funny twist on the game)
20) You will be propositioned to try on the "Dirrrty Cop" outfit at least once. I don't care what you look like.
21) People will ask you which edible underwear tastes the best. I tend to lean toward the classic non cotton ones. I've never eaten any other kind....
22) You will giggle every time you walk through the store. Mr. Nose will make you want to pee your pant. (If you don't know who Mr. Nose is, just ask me)
23)You'll find that most people who come in the store will just be trying to kill some time. Just let them browse. Most of them smell funny anyway.
24) There will always be an inner battle over whether or not to buy something that intimate in front of people you work with. You really want to be able to use your 20% employee discount, but is it worth it to know that your co-workers will always know that you bought the "White Night Set"?
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
tubaart:
It's a date!! I'm less than 10 miles off of I-70, so not even a detour for you. 
Time to start thinking about set ideas.... 
Time to start thinking about set ideas.... 
coley:
Oh, I'd hold it against you....
