monicaisafreak

My freind May asked me today "whats my label? I mean, who am I? as seen by the outside world?"

I am not really one in the outside world, so I wouldn't know. I don't spend my time judging someone from that perspective.

Then I realzied that I get judged everyday by people about who I am. I do not let others raw opinions of me get me down, but it is interesting to know their perspective. What is my type? May says that I am a hippie.

I feel like a side dish.
Because of who I am. I am not out in the world of work and todays society. I'm that person my ex boyfreind comes to stay with after his girlfreind kicks him out. I'm the pussy who gets fucked when "i'm in the area". Everything is because something else or someone else is better. I'm a fill in.
I always hate how guys will fuck you, but they won't date you. How many times has that happened to me? Or theres rick who took advantage of my crush on him....fucks me then takes off with my video camera.
I am alone most of the time, exept for my son. I don't interact in this superficial world often, and when I do, I am still myself. I must be blunt with my therory--it seems liike guys like girls from the superficial world. Yeah, they may be great girls inside, maybe even similar to myself.....
I cant' think of how to word what I want to say right there. Maybe guys have a subconious (some consious) fear of being with someone not of their social class. someone not like them????? Maybe i'm being to general in my theories. but it does seem to happen. kinda like how you hear about how some white parents don't want their daughter to date a black guy.
That question May asked made me think of a lot of things. i know who i am, by my own definition. but to society I am something different. Mostly because of stereotypical biases.....
I think its time for bed. good night!