could someone help me make sense of this ? what the hell is the fucking matter with me? i want to know....
Well i have a reason from her now....

dear Dave
you didn't do anything wrong, and you werem't too touchy or anything. I just didn't feel in love and I couldn't go on lying to you about it. I just dont feel the same as you do. Your friendship means a lot to me. you are one of my best friends and I think if we can get through this it will be all right. I still want us to be friends we just can't kiss. I really just want us to be the way before we started dating and everything. I just want to be honest.
I want us to go out and have fun like we used too.I liked the cuddling too any everything else but I don't want to lead you on. in the future I don't know what will be but I just know that at this time we are better off really good friends and I'm not ready now for anything serious. I am just not ready to go into a relationship. I don't wish that I was with my last serious relationship but it still took a lot to get over. I still consider you my best friends and I miss you.

Im wondering why this is this way, i never asked her out, and she went to kiss me first...
im just a dumbfuck i guess, help me someone please.
oh yeah, almost forgot, also before i got out of work this woman was really really mean to me, she was on the pic machine techincally after we closed, so i was letting her do her pics, since me and the other guy i was working with had everything else shut down and were under orders to leave as soon as stuff was off, we were just waiting for her and her family/friends to get done with their pictures, and then when the one pic was done, it took 20mins for one fucking picture, there was dust on the pic, and she was like do i get a discount, and i was like no... and i was like we can throw it way and you can make another one.. and shes like "Your really rude!", all you have been is rude to us!!!!" i have to pay for a pic that wrecked because its your fault!? and i was like "yes yes its all my fault everything is my fault, im sorry... im sorry" so i gave them the pic for free, and on my way out of the store i saw that her party was waiting on a bench in the entrance way and she was no where to be found, so im pretty sure she was complaining about me. and im going to get yelled at tomorrow, and or fired. why is my life so fucked up? why the fuck am i so fucked up?
someone please read this and please leave me some feedback. im asking for help please.