So the state of IN doesnt think im eligible for financal aid this year, hopefully my college does and i get a pell grant. i want to continue going to school. should i even start bitching anymore? should i? god this fucking journal is turning into a fucking country song. So im pray to a god i can go to school. and after this school, how the hell im i supposed to continue with my education? i dont make enough to pay for shit. and the stupid government doesnt think im eligible, because this year i didnt meet a March 10th deadline, because i was waiting on my moms stupid tax shit. you know how much i made last year? 12k, my mom? 4k. yes she made 4 thousand dollars, yet im a dependant. and im not eligible for federal aid. i love this country. i hate this. Though Lesley is here, though i worry, what if i cant continue with school? would she still like me? id be a fucking bum. i wouldnt be worthy for her, and some suave guy with money and future could come along and sweep her of her feet. its a fear of mine. im always fearful of the future, and now im afraid i might not have one.