mondrianblue

I have such great luck i really do. Some how i managed to lose 2 color value charts i had to turn in today, i dont know how i lost them i set them in the living room , and i go back and my papercliped packet is there but the 2 charts are gone and no one knows what could have happened to them. only 3 fucking people live here!!!!!!!!! and im pretty fucking sure i put my packet there so it would be safe but some one was nice enough to fuck with it for me!!!!!!!!!! OMG i got in the car on the way to school and screamed at the top of my lungs for the longest time, i dont fucking get it . everthing i do ends in failure, WHAT THE FUCK have i done to deserve this? WHAT The FUCK have i done to have all this shit happen to me. i know other people must have it worse but what the fuck? i try my hardest and i fucking fail at everything, i cant do anything perfect. its always flawed or frayed. My life is Frayed. i can do anything right, i cant please anyone. and no one fucking cares. no one has ever fucking cared. when i was little i threatened to kill my self, and did adults take me to a Psychologist? no they fucking handed me a knife and said go ahead im sure we''ll get over it. THis is what my grandma said to me when i was around 8 or 9 and my parents were getting a devorce. My dad was in a mental hospital, so im pretty sure im postive i need anti-depressants, i fucking tell people this and they ignore me i was like "dad, i need axiety pills" and he just fucking stared off into the distance like i didnt fucking say anything. This was on the ride to the dentist last monday, i drove my self and drove my self back i just asked my dad to go with me because i was scared having a tooth pulled sucks. i dont know if he was pissed i bothered him or what. or like having medication problems with his meds but he seemed distant. im sick of not being listened to. and im sick of getting yelled at for not being a perfect student by teachers. can someone come save me or cheer me up ?