Im about to have a fucking aneurysm its 1am. Im still working on my paper for art history due in 7 hours, id of worked on it sooner but i was at work all day. I cant fucking find my USB Key(27.99) for computer lab, someone was nice enough to wash my clothes for me, my fucking key was in my pants pocket, and it is now no where to be found.Of course, why would it be in plain site, or not lost at all? And why does my head feel like it is spliting in 2? after school tomorrow i work 4- 10 so i doubt ill have time to find the motherfucking thing. i dont have time for fucking anything. if you were wondering why i havent updated in a while now you know. damn im so tempted to call in for work tomorrow im fucking sick of it, im full time, they fucking know i go to school full time also , but if i switch to part time, ill get "punished' in some speical way by the fuckers that run my fucking store i work at. At work i have to fucking answer stupid ass questions. and have to deal with cocky "professional" photographers that give me shit about their reprints, when they hardly know how to use a motherfucking camera. Fucking Professional photographers dont get their fucking prints at wal-mart, i mean what the fuck? and motherfuckers that cant understand the copy right law.
Im fucking sick of it.
Im fucking sick of everything.
Im fucking sick of doing this and knowing im going to go no where.
Im fucking sick of being alone
Im fucking sick of knowing i could have someone, but they live so far away.
Im fucking sick of knowing that im going to die a horrible death.
Im fucking sick of never being able to acomplish anything.
Im fucking sick of failing every fucking time i try.
Im fucking sick of not having enough sleep.
Im fucking sick of waking up in the morning.
Im fucking sick of never being able to find anything.
Im fucking sick of never being at home.
Im fucking sick of having panic attacks.
Im fucking sick of screaming in frustration.
Im fucking sick of not having anyones support.
Im fucking sick of not ever having anyone to talk to.
Im fucking sick of my teachers putting me down.
Im fucking sick of being mocked because i have to work at a retail store to pay for my classes, by my teachers.
Im fucking sick of never being listened to.
Im fucking sick of always being blamed for stuff.
Im fucking sick of being bitched at for being pessimistic by those who always give me shit.
Im fucking sick of not being able to see a doctor.
Im fucking sick of not having reliable transportion.
Im fucking sick of working and then never having money.
Im fucking sick of working my hardest and then being told to do better.
Im fucking sick of being used by random girls who want material goods.
Im fucking sick of never being accepted.
Im fucking sick of never being shown affection.
Im fucking sick of never being good enough for anyone.
Im fucking sick of not having a life.
Im fucking sick of being no one.
Im fucking sick of praying and never being answered.
Im fucking sick of being a nice guy.
Im fucking sick of being just a causal aquantance.
Im fucking sick of being threatened.
Im fucking sick of the emptiness.
Im fucking sick of my dad hating me for needing help at some things.
Im fucking sick of being ingnored by my mother unless she is yelling at me or wants money.
Im fucking sick of trying to find happiness through material things.
Im fucking sick of trying to find love and only finding lust.
Im fucking sick of being talked to like stupid by classmates, because i am quiet in class.
Im fucking sick of all of this shit.
Some one save me please, someone?
i hate my existance, i know im never going to be anything. So why do i have to rot here in this fucking shit hole. some one save me. please.
im going through so much stress. my left eye is fucking up , its got like 2 dots floating in the fluid, and i dont have money to see the doctor, hopefully its nothing serious, but i worry about it all the time. i am kind of scared, and all day today i have had this fucking headache, it hasnt gone away even for a little bit, im wondering if all my talk about an anyrisum might be precognition. im just waiting for blood to shoot out of my nose, and slip into a dizzy daze, passout and die. but i know thats not going to happen, my death has to be horrible and painful, i just know it.
im a failure in everyones eyes and i cant do anything right. Art teacher says im not that creative for a guy with pink hair, and my english teacher says im too creative for my own good. im logical in the class im not supposed to be in, and im creative/eccentric in the classes i have to be logical in. im ment to fail at every thing. i cant be good at anything. and im not ment to have anything nice or anything easy at all. im meant for frustration and failure. isolation, and celebacy, lol . i have nothing to look forward too. and my future is bleak/no existant, some one save me.
Im fucking sick of it.
Im fucking sick of everything.
Im fucking sick of doing this and knowing im going to go no where.
Im fucking sick of being alone
Im fucking sick of knowing i could have someone, but they live so far away.
Im fucking sick of knowing that im going to die a horrible death.
Im fucking sick of never being able to acomplish anything.
Im fucking sick of failing every fucking time i try.
Im fucking sick of not having enough sleep.
Im fucking sick of waking up in the morning.
Im fucking sick of never being able to find anything.
Im fucking sick of never being at home.
Im fucking sick of having panic attacks.
Im fucking sick of screaming in frustration.
Im fucking sick of not having anyones support.
Im fucking sick of not ever having anyone to talk to.
Im fucking sick of my teachers putting me down.
Im fucking sick of being mocked because i have to work at a retail store to pay for my classes, by my teachers.
Im fucking sick of never being listened to.
Im fucking sick of always being blamed for stuff.
Im fucking sick of being bitched at for being pessimistic by those who always give me shit.
Im fucking sick of not being able to see a doctor.
Im fucking sick of not having reliable transportion.
Im fucking sick of working and then never having money.
Im fucking sick of working my hardest and then being told to do better.
Im fucking sick of being used by random girls who want material goods.
Im fucking sick of never being accepted.
Im fucking sick of never being shown affection.
Im fucking sick of never being good enough for anyone.
Im fucking sick of not having a life.
Im fucking sick of being no one.
Im fucking sick of praying and never being answered.
Im fucking sick of being a nice guy.
Im fucking sick of being just a causal aquantance.
Im fucking sick of being threatened.
Im fucking sick of the emptiness.
Im fucking sick of my dad hating me for needing help at some things.
Im fucking sick of being ingnored by my mother unless she is yelling at me or wants money.
Im fucking sick of trying to find happiness through material things.
Im fucking sick of trying to find love and only finding lust.
Im fucking sick of being talked to like stupid by classmates, because i am quiet in class.
Im fucking sick of all of this shit.
Some one save me please, someone?
i hate my existance, i know im never going to be anything. So why do i have to rot here in this fucking shit hole. some one save me. please.
im going through so much stress. my left eye is fucking up , its got like 2 dots floating in the fluid, and i dont have money to see the doctor, hopefully its nothing serious, but i worry about it all the time. i am kind of scared, and all day today i have had this fucking headache, it hasnt gone away even for a little bit, im wondering if all my talk about an anyrisum might be precognition. im just waiting for blood to shoot out of my nose, and slip into a dizzy daze, passout and die. but i know thats not going to happen, my death has to be horrible and painful, i just know it.
im a failure in everyones eyes and i cant do anything right. Art teacher says im not that creative for a guy with pink hair, and my english teacher says im too creative for my own good. im logical in the class im not supposed to be in, and im creative/eccentric in the classes i have to be logical in. im ment to fail at every thing. i cant be good at anything. and im not ment to have anything nice or anything easy at all. im meant for frustration and failure. isolation, and celebacy, lol . i have nothing to look forward too. and my future is bleak/no existant, some one save me.