mondrianblue

today was eventful, a certain co worker was being dense,(we all dispise working with her) lol fucking missfiling Envelopes which fucking drives me up the wall, like a K name was in the L's and i couldnt find it , i was like WTF did we forget the fucking alphabet? ive been in a horrible mood today stress and work made me even more pissed, i started fucking answering the stupid ass questions like a smart ass , and i didnt really give a shit, lol "Will this take a Hour?" Its 1 hour processing , " umm, yeah..." and wen we closed stoped processing they were like "can i get this done tonight?" i point to the sign "we are closed" and i got a customer complaint against me because people cant fucking read or understand the concept of a motherfucking closed sign. FUCK!!!!!!!!!
and as i was walking to the back room you know who almost ran me over with her boy draped over her. if i could set people on fire with my mind there would be 2 less people aggitating me, keeping me from sleep. the reason of this is unexplainible, i dont know why this hurts me so. being rejected, being toyed with. this has happened so often before, why does it always sting just as hard as the first time? .
the first case of this , occured the summer after high school. i started hanging out with my friends ex she started to spend the night more and more always falling asleep right next to me with her head on her chest. She told me she really like me, and i believed her, unfortuantly i fell for her, and i was hers , that is untill some one else came along. she wanted to be my best friend, though she also wanted to tell me about all her fantasies she had about other guys. how she wanted to fuck them, how she fucked them. and how they would always leave her. i got dragged on a ride with her, i met and became good friends with her parents. they loved me wanted me to go out with her, though she would never have me. she just wanted to fuck with my mind. "i love you dave." i eventually pulled my self from her, and walked away with the first 2 vampire scars on my neck, she fucked me over so much. i never tryied pot or drugs before her. i was strait edge. though now i dont do anydrugs though i drink. she showed me that also.
2nd case girl i met online, who actually only live down the road from me, we started hanging out she was really flirtive and would kiss me on the cheek and always hug me when we parted ways. she also became pretty close, she would always be over and she would always want to watch a movie with me and be close and cuddle. but then she met a guy,left for a while like 3 months , he cheated on her, and who did she run too? moi of course, and it was me that held her in my arms for 2 hours while she cried and i consoled her, and rocked her back and forth tellin her things would be better . but then yeah she found another guy and just up and left. ive never heard from her again.
3rd case. when i told the girl of my dreams (high school crush) that i loved her, and we started going out, she was in the army at the time. long distance for a couple of months with phone calls then one day i was getting around for work and i hear a knock at my door and i open it up and there she was a gleaming image of beauty it was like a scene from a movie i was like"andrea!..." and she jumped into the house and wrapped her arms around me and we had a movie kiss. and she looked me in the eyes and gave me a big hug and wishpered in my ear "i love you" i still melt inside when i think about it. and so we went for a drive and parked by the river and made out before she dropped me off at work, that was the longest work night ever, and she picked me up, and i held her hand as we walked back to her car. when we got home we made out on the couch for a while , then she took me by the hand and led me to my bedroom. and the rest is history. but in the events after she left. she was her for 4 days (the happyest of my life) we still talked for a couple months untill she told me she had a confession she was 12 weeks pregnant with this guy she met's baby. and that was the last i heard from her, she just stoped talking to me. actually she came back for a nother visit and we hung out once. then after she went home that time. i never heard from her again. the 3rd set of scars appeared on this already flawed flesh.
and this leads up to my final and most recent encounter, i meet her standing in line to cash my check she come up and taps my shoulder she noticed all my patches on my jacket "you like rancid?, you ever hear of.....(she sees the patch) oh yes! you do like Anti Flag! and NOFX!!" and i say "yes i do" "nice to meet you" and then i walk off not thinking about her at all, then one night im in the backroom stocking and she comes up behind me "ive been looking for you!!!" to my amazement she started working where i worked. she introduced her self and told me her name, and said she would love to hang out some time shes new in town and looking for interesting people. so we exchange phone numbers and we start hanging out watching movies, actually the first time we hung out she got me drunk on banana rum while we were watching "Made" and she took me to my car in the morning, (we met at work, and i rode with her to her house) and later that night at work she was like "your not going to get all weird are you? " and i was like "no" then we started to hang out more steadly and we started watching movies at her house and she would be all close and cuddly and let me play with her hair. this led up to one night when i finally was like "thats it im telling her how i feel" she had plans to go drinking and smoke some pot with some friends of hers so i said id just go home, and she walked me out to my car and i told her how i felt about her and everything, i gave her a cd i made for her and told her to listen to the song i wanted her to hear, and she smiled and said "awwww" and gave me a big hug. and we parted ways. when i got home she called me up and told me she had a change of plans and wanted to hang out with me, at the bowling alley i was like "yes!!! she likes me too!! yay!" so we get there she starts drinking cus you know im not interesting sober... and we bowl a game she gets up and is like "ill be back" abandons me for like 5 mins then she comes back and then leaves again comes back with this dude around her and is like "so you going home then?" and i was like "i guess i am... see you"
then the next day at work shes like "you should have came with us we went to a party and we started making out and you know..."
but then we started hanging out again and she dyed my hair for me, i was forced to change my hair because of work!! fuckers. so now its fucking ugly ass brown, and everytime i look in the mirror i think about how i was forced to change it and how she dyed it. so its a double suck.
anyway we stop hangning out , and she keeps bugging me why we dont hang out "youve been blowing me off!" and i was feeling bad i decided to write her a letter that stated how i felt about her, and when i went through her line she was like how have you been? im happy now, hehe , (we are intrupted in conversation) and i was like what were you saying? "you know that guy i was talking about? while we started..... Im just really happy now! really happy" which im glad she said that before i gave her the letter. the letter has been burned. and now i avoid her at all costs because for the time being i dispise her. she led me on like really bad, i wouldnt have a problem with her if she just didnt like me, but she had to go and fuck with me. this has been edited for space, there is so much more to tell! though dont worry ill write more i always do.
that ends my tales of my encounter with vampires for now.
please comment .....