mondrianblue

so whats the saying? everything can go as it is only for a limited time , or something like that. well im fucked like usual. nothing new, i swear its the standard if youre me. so yeah i went to take my car in for an oil change and they were nice enough to tell me that my rear tires are "Chopping" so they are already thread worn. so i have to take it to a shop, and get new tires. fun fun FUN, since you know my fucking 8 dollar an hour job will so cover it. and i have no one to turn to , cuz my parents are joyfully unemployed. i cant fucking afford this shit. im still paying my dentist for work he did last spring.. i simply dont make enough. and plus the damn car payment it self is fucking 240 a month. i hate my fucking life. and i should just end it. on top of everything else. im sick yet i have to go into work because its my bosses weekend off, and god forbid anyone else work the weekends with me. i went home early yesterday because i lost it and i blamed it on the cold. and this morning i fucking feel worse then i was yesterday . and the car thing doesnt help at all. and i havent seen sarah in forever, i was supposed to see her tonight after work, but now with the car i cant. she lives 50 odd miles away so its always like a 100 mile round trip. plus school is 20miles away. and the car just has to fuck up. i fucking hate my life. i do everything by my self. and get nothing for it. i see all these fuckers that rely on their parents and just for one day i wish i was one of those spoiled fuckers. Im the most depended person at work , yet im the one thats treated the shittest. i really have no reason to keep breathing. i dont have enough money to continue schooling. mostly because on the fasfa since i live with my mother. and plus she doesnt have a taxable job so it fucks stuff up even more for me. god i would love to be normal for just fucking once. my only reason for breathing is 50 miles away and out of reach. and the life i want and the one i have are oceans apart.