monachetti

There's this game I like to play. I call it explod-o-tire. It involves me and my friends going to the local grocery store and putting things that explode under peoples car tires and then watching their reactions. You get bonus points for any damage caused to the car. We started out with really boring things that you think'd be cool at first, but get boring after a while. The first thing we tried was a watermelon, but that wasn't as good as you think it'd be. We put a gallon of milk under the next one. That was pretty cool cause it made a loud popping noise and sprayed milk up the side of the car. You should have seen the look on their face. It scared them so much that they involuntarily slammed their foot down on the gas pedal and backed into an old woman's cart. She got super pissed and hit the driver with her handbag when he got out to apologize. That got boring after a while, so we upped it to a can of hairspray. Holy shit.

We put the can under some pompous bitch's Hummer. She backed up, and oh my god, I can't even type I am laughing so hard right now. She backed up and boom. It shredded her tire and sent shrapnel flying through some asshole teenagers leg. Literally through it. Even funnier was the fact that he was wearing these stupid ass pants from hot topic, the kinds with chains all over them. The part of the can that blew through his leg caught on the chain, not only ripping his pants clean off, but the chains ripped through his leg too. So he goes down, howling at the top of his lungs, with his entire bottom half in tatters because of the chains and this bitch in the hummer freaks out and backs into his retarded buddy. He was fat, so he just fell on his roly-poly ass, but holy shit! I swear to God he screamed louder than his friend. I don't know much about what happened after that, cause we high-tailed it on out of there. I ain't going to jail again. Fuck that.