moirae

Let make a fast plan, watch it burn to the ground
I try to whisper, so no one figures it out
I'm not a bad man, I'm just overwhelmed
It's cause of these things, it's cause of these things

Ive never really had a large family. Essentially just my mom, dad, and brother. Ive never known my grandparents on my fathers side. And both grandparents on my mothers side died while I was fairly young, so I dont know much of them.

For as long as I can remember the older couple that lived next door to us were our grandparents. They did not have any children of their own, so they raised my brother and me as their grandchildren. We lived with them while our parents were away. They were the ones to take us to the zoo, and the park. All the things children long to do. They were at every holiday. They are the ones that gave us gifts for a 10 year old, when we were 16, just because they still felt like we were their little boys. Short of blood I cant think of any reason for them not to be my grandparents.

I got a call yesterday telling me that my grandmother had a severe stroke. Shes partially paralyzed and unconscious. They dont expect her to live through the next 24 hours. And essentially are going to keep upping her morphine until she passes. I spent the evening in the hospital. Holding the only womans hand who has loved me unconditionally other then my mom. Hoping that she knew we were there.

So I sit here now going through my mundane day to day tasks. Waiting. My heart drops every time the phone rings, as I know one of the rings will bring me the news that as a child you never expect to witness.

I thought I had filled my quota for tears this week guess I was wrong.