I don't know could've been a lame jogger maybe
Or someone just about to do the freeway strangler baby
Shopping cart pusher or maybe someone groovie
One thing's for sure, he isn't starring in the movies.
'Cause he's walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Shout it, Shout it, Shout it out loud:
The following is my stream of conscious run down on our crazy weekend involving a photo shoot coordinated by the wonderfully talented photographer Frankie Norstad for the Gene Simmons Family Jewels reality TV show.
Friday 6pm: Ramona and I hit the freeway in heavily loaded car. Drive south for 5-1/2 hours. Roll up to beautiful renovated 70s style hotel on Sunset Blvd. Right outside of Hollywood. Unload and get to sleep by 2 am.
Saturday 8:30: Get up and ready. Pick up rickety box van and head to artist colony near downtown L.A. for some props. Pick up two custom steel chairs, a 6 foot tall steel Guitar and a huge aluminum wedge of swiss cheese, and a mushroom. Drive back to hotel to rejoin the crew.
12:30: Load all my gear into van with cheese. Rest of crew hops into bling bling black SUV. We head up Mullholland Drive and into the Hollywood Hills.
1:00 arrive at Gene Simmons house. We meet Producer guy and get the synopsis on the day. Producer guy and most of the crew consist of your stereotypical fake Hollywood shit heads. I dont know how many dicks this guy sucked to get where he is, but Im guessing a lot, since it was obvious he needed to make up for his complete lack of talent or charm.
The house is ridiculous. Ill have pictures later, since words cant describe it. Ive never really had a grasp on what can actually be bought with a relatively huge sum of money, but now I have a better idea. Palace is a good description.
1:30 we get fitted with wireless microphones, and get ready to start the show.
2:00 Our crew gets back in our SUV, and I drive it back down to the street. We head back up the driveway and make our choreographed entrance. We all hop out and head up the huge spiral staircase to the front doors. We do the walk up three times. We get to the door. Frankie rings the doorbell and Gene walks up. He welcomes us in, we shake hands and get brief intros. We end up doing this three more times because producer guy doesnt like the way it looks. Yay for reality! This is the beginning of Genes obsession with my Joy Division t-shirt.
2:30 We hang out in the crazy front room area waiting for the camera crew to get their shit straight. Then Gene comes back with the whole family. His girl friend Shannon Tweed, and their two children Nick and Sophie. Frankie introduces all of us and tells them what we are going to do for this photo shoot. The concept is a traditional gothic Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland tea party. Right off the bat Shannon starts giving attitude
Characters:
Gene Simmons: Definitely looks like an old man now. Tall, bit of a belly, and really gross hair. Sort of almost a weird mullet cut that wraps around to cover his ears. He said he hates ears, and will walk up to people, and move their hair to cover them up. Otherwise really cool, total megalomaniac, and just a little out of touch with reality.
Shannon Tweed: Aging Playboy centerfold, and B-Movie actress. Very tall, still fairly fit, but definitely aging. Serious collagen injections to the lips and possibly other work done to her face. Her lips were just gross. Total bitch attitude, but by the end of the day ended up being kind of nice.
Nick Simmons: 17 yr old. 6-7 tall, and a size 16 shoe. Super skinny, and rocking the Hipster, meets Jim Morrison look. Seemed really cool and fairly well grounded, just typical jaded teenager attitude.
Sophie Simmons: 13 yr old 5-8 and already looks at least 16. Seems really cool too. Despite the fact that she acted like a professional model during the shoot, she wanted to be really modest about her looks.
3:00 We wander around the house looking for place to shoot, and play with their dog Snippy. We decide on the formal dining room. Then everybody breaks to start getting ready.
3:30 to 6:00 I spend the next couple of hours hauling equipment up to the room, and setting my strobes. Camera guys kept running around watching my every move, and I had to keep pretending that they werent there. I really wanted to go for a way more elaborate top heavy low key lighting setup, but ended up going with a high key flat lit fashion set up.
Ramona and the others for the styling crew are working on the family. Shannon is in bitch mode and wont let anybody touch her hair or nails. She also refuses to wear any of the outfits. At this point a majority of the tea party concept goes right out the door.
Gene is randomly wandering the house, and Im pretty much done, so we end up having random short conversations in passing as Im checking out the set-ups. Find out that most of the family is pissed with the TV crew because they keep causing problems. He keeps asking me funny questions, and dropping Joy Division references. He freaked out when Ramona had her arms around my waist because he thought I had 4 arms all of a sudden
Frankie starts the shoot at about 6ish and its over in about 15 minutes. TV crew breaks, and we start taking down our stuff.
6:30 After the TV crew is gone, most of the family starts getting way friendlier. As Im helping get the dining room back together Shannon asks me Should women smell like truckers? I reply No, not usually. Sophie then runs in behind her, and Shannon says This girls farts could wilt flowers! Sophie just gives me this goofy look and runs off into the kitchen laughing.
As Im putting away the rest of my stuff Gene comes in. He starts a conversation with Frankie and I about Popular Punk Bands. Were all a little confused but talk for a while and throw out all kinds of band names. He then says Let me show you popular.
He then takes us into his office. His office is about two stories high lined with Gold and Platinum records, and every piece of KISS memorabilia you could ever imagine. He starts telling us all kinds of random shit, and basically stroking his own ego. He ends up digging into this big bowl full of key chains and pins, and giving us handfuls of stuff. It was a mix of original stuff from the 70s and 80s as well as some new stuff. He then takes us to a bunch of boxes, and tells us to find some shirts.
We finally load up, say our farewells and head back down the winding driveway.
My over all impression confirms that reality TV does indeed suck. Both watching it, and even more, being in it. Supposedly the series is to start in August on the A&E channel, and theyll let us know when we will be on.
Wheee.
Or someone just about to do the freeway strangler baby
Shopping cart pusher or maybe someone groovie
One thing's for sure, he isn't starring in the movies.
'Cause he's walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Shout it, Shout it, Shout it out loud:
The following is my stream of conscious run down on our crazy weekend involving a photo shoot coordinated by the wonderfully talented photographer Frankie Norstad for the Gene Simmons Family Jewels reality TV show.
Friday 6pm: Ramona and I hit the freeway in heavily loaded car. Drive south for 5-1/2 hours. Roll up to beautiful renovated 70s style hotel on Sunset Blvd. Right outside of Hollywood. Unload and get to sleep by 2 am.
Saturday 8:30: Get up and ready. Pick up rickety box van and head to artist colony near downtown L.A. for some props. Pick up two custom steel chairs, a 6 foot tall steel Guitar and a huge aluminum wedge of swiss cheese, and a mushroom. Drive back to hotel to rejoin the crew.
12:30: Load all my gear into van with cheese. Rest of crew hops into bling bling black SUV. We head up Mullholland Drive and into the Hollywood Hills.
1:00 arrive at Gene Simmons house. We meet Producer guy and get the synopsis on the day. Producer guy and most of the crew consist of your stereotypical fake Hollywood shit heads. I dont know how many dicks this guy sucked to get where he is, but Im guessing a lot, since it was obvious he needed to make up for his complete lack of talent or charm.
The house is ridiculous. Ill have pictures later, since words cant describe it. Ive never really had a grasp on what can actually be bought with a relatively huge sum of money, but now I have a better idea. Palace is a good description.
1:30 we get fitted with wireless microphones, and get ready to start the show.
2:00 Our crew gets back in our SUV, and I drive it back down to the street. We head back up the driveway and make our choreographed entrance. We all hop out and head up the huge spiral staircase to the front doors. We do the walk up three times. We get to the door. Frankie rings the doorbell and Gene walks up. He welcomes us in, we shake hands and get brief intros. We end up doing this three more times because producer guy doesnt like the way it looks. Yay for reality! This is the beginning of Genes obsession with my Joy Division t-shirt.
2:30 We hang out in the crazy front room area waiting for the camera crew to get their shit straight. Then Gene comes back with the whole family. His girl friend Shannon Tweed, and their two children Nick and Sophie. Frankie introduces all of us and tells them what we are going to do for this photo shoot. The concept is a traditional gothic Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland tea party. Right off the bat Shannon starts giving attitude
Characters:
Gene Simmons: Definitely looks like an old man now. Tall, bit of a belly, and really gross hair. Sort of almost a weird mullet cut that wraps around to cover his ears. He said he hates ears, and will walk up to people, and move their hair to cover them up. Otherwise really cool, total megalomaniac, and just a little out of touch with reality.
Shannon Tweed: Aging Playboy centerfold, and B-Movie actress. Very tall, still fairly fit, but definitely aging. Serious collagen injections to the lips and possibly other work done to her face. Her lips were just gross. Total bitch attitude, but by the end of the day ended up being kind of nice.
Nick Simmons: 17 yr old. 6-7 tall, and a size 16 shoe. Super skinny, and rocking the Hipster, meets Jim Morrison look. Seemed really cool and fairly well grounded, just typical jaded teenager attitude.
Sophie Simmons: 13 yr old 5-8 and already looks at least 16. Seems really cool too. Despite the fact that she acted like a professional model during the shoot, she wanted to be really modest about her looks.
3:00 We wander around the house looking for place to shoot, and play with their dog Snippy. We decide on the formal dining room. Then everybody breaks to start getting ready.
3:30 to 6:00 I spend the next couple of hours hauling equipment up to the room, and setting my strobes. Camera guys kept running around watching my every move, and I had to keep pretending that they werent there. I really wanted to go for a way more elaborate top heavy low key lighting setup, but ended up going with a high key flat lit fashion set up.
Ramona and the others for the styling crew are working on the family. Shannon is in bitch mode and wont let anybody touch her hair or nails. She also refuses to wear any of the outfits. At this point a majority of the tea party concept goes right out the door.
Gene is randomly wandering the house, and Im pretty much done, so we end up having random short conversations in passing as Im checking out the set-ups. Find out that most of the family is pissed with the TV crew because they keep causing problems. He keeps asking me funny questions, and dropping Joy Division references. He freaked out when Ramona had her arms around my waist because he thought I had 4 arms all of a sudden
Frankie starts the shoot at about 6ish and its over in about 15 minutes. TV crew breaks, and we start taking down our stuff.
6:30 After the TV crew is gone, most of the family starts getting way friendlier. As Im helping get the dining room back together Shannon asks me Should women smell like truckers? I reply No, not usually. Sophie then runs in behind her, and Shannon says This girls farts could wilt flowers! Sophie just gives me this goofy look and runs off into the kitchen laughing.
As Im putting away the rest of my stuff Gene comes in. He starts a conversation with Frankie and I about Popular Punk Bands. Were all a little confused but talk for a while and throw out all kinds of band names. He then says Let me show you popular.
He then takes us into his office. His office is about two stories high lined with Gold and Platinum records, and every piece of KISS memorabilia you could ever imagine. He starts telling us all kinds of random shit, and basically stroking his own ego. He ends up digging into this big bowl full of key chains and pins, and giving us handfuls of stuff. It was a mix of original stuff from the 70s and 80s as well as some new stuff. He then takes us to a bunch of boxes, and tells us to find some shirts.
We finally load up, say our farewells and head back down the winding driveway.
My over all impression confirms that reality TV does indeed suck. Both watching it, and even more, being in it. Supposedly the series is to start in August on the A&E channel, and theyll let us know when we will be on.
Wheee.
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
Fucking Gene Simmons!
I'm gonna go put on 'Strutter' right now.