Well today was to be the day I went out with the gorgeous gray eyed girl, but alas, I did not. She was supposed to call me the night before, but never did. I figured she'd call today instead, but never did. I tried to call her after becomming extremely hungry (we were supposed to have a dinner date) and got her voicemail. She never called back.
This is fucking pathetic. How WEAK and PATHETIC does one have to be to not be able to tell someone they'd rather not go out? Is honesty that difficult for people that they have to hide behind a facade of interest and then act out avoidance to rid themselves of the issue? I can't believe she pulled this horseshit.
Anyway, after I figured she was not going to call, I drove to Canton and picked up a fucking awesome Bauhaus shirt with the money I was planning on taking her out with. It's a girlie tee but honestly, I don't give a fuck. I think I look good in it, and it gives me a reason to wear eye shadow. Guys like to feel pretty too sometimes. At least I do.
Later on I went to Dennys for some late night solitude and coffee, where I wrote lyrics for three songs. Depression always sets me up for writing. After I got home I started fucking around with Acid Pro. I want to be able to write music for tunes like the ones I wrote tonight that simply don't fit my current band's vein. I'm a long way from producing anyhting noteworthy, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. Anyway, here's one of the songs I wrote tonight. I doubt I'll still like it in the morning, but at the time it was righteous.
walls so tall around me
reaching for the sky
no way in, and no way out
the future makes me sigh
i stare upon the concrete
blocks that box me in
cold and gray, but not far away
and wishing them away is a sin
on my back i lie here
in my patch of grass
fingers running through the dew
like so many days that passed
not so long from now
all the dew will freeze
everything turns cold now
the seasons never aim to please
solitude is all i need
on my own blood i will feed
lay dried roses on my eyes
bitterness won't let me rise
open ended memory
telling me all that could be
can't escape this tragedy
and hold on to my despair
as the minutes turn to days
it never fades away
drinking wine from bitter fruit
is my new favorite game
solitude is all i need
on my own blood i will feed
lay dried roses on my eyes
bitterness won't let me rise
This is fucking pathetic. How WEAK and PATHETIC does one have to be to not be able to tell someone they'd rather not go out? Is honesty that difficult for people that they have to hide behind a facade of interest and then act out avoidance to rid themselves of the issue? I can't believe she pulled this horseshit.
Anyway, after I figured she was not going to call, I drove to Canton and picked up a fucking awesome Bauhaus shirt with the money I was planning on taking her out with. It's a girlie tee but honestly, I don't give a fuck. I think I look good in it, and it gives me a reason to wear eye shadow. Guys like to feel pretty too sometimes. At least I do.
Later on I went to Dennys for some late night solitude and coffee, where I wrote lyrics for three songs. Depression always sets me up for writing. After I got home I started fucking around with Acid Pro. I want to be able to write music for tunes like the ones I wrote tonight that simply don't fit my current band's vein. I'm a long way from producing anyhting noteworthy, but I'm starting to get the hang of it. Anyway, here's one of the songs I wrote tonight. I doubt I'll still like it in the morning, but at the time it was righteous.
walls so tall around me
reaching for the sky
no way in, and no way out
the future makes me sigh
i stare upon the concrete
blocks that box me in
cold and gray, but not far away
and wishing them away is a sin
on my back i lie here
in my patch of grass
fingers running through the dew
like so many days that passed
not so long from now
all the dew will freeze
everything turns cold now
the seasons never aim to please
solitude is all i need
on my own blood i will feed
lay dried roses on my eyes
bitterness won't let me rise
open ended memory
telling me all that could be
can't escape this tragedy
and hold on to my despair
as the minutes turn to days
it never fades away
drinking wine from bitter fruit
is my new favorite game
solitude is all i need
on my own blood i will feed
lay dried roses on my eyes
bitterness won't let me rise
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Oh and - for the record -fuck fickle chicks man - ain't worth the energy.