Warning: This post contains personal thoughts regarding issues of sexuality. Read at your own discretion.
Okay, so here's what's on my mind. Me and the kid went to a little reunion dinner with some of our theater friends - the cast of Dr. Piranha's Super Sci-Fi Theater. They're all quite crazy and it was a good time.
The three girls in the group are ungodly beautiful. One girl, Emily, would probably be considered the "hottest" among them. The step son met her for the first time tonight and later stated that he, "didn't notice anything about her but her breasts". Little pervert... he's just like his mother (my girlfriend) who only notices the same thing.
I, on the other hand, don't really pay attention to these things. I notice faces the most, I noticed the gap in her front teeth, I noticed her awesome boots, but not so much the breasts. If anything, I was just damn jealous of her and the other girls.
So what does this say about my sexuality? I've always assumed I was in the bisexual spectrum, though I've never really done anything with guys. I've had crushes and met at least one guy I couldn't take my eyes off of. They're usually effiminate gay boys - but boys none the less. With the girls I'm attracted to, I'm usually insanely jealous and envious of how they look. So much it hurts sometimes. Such is the way of the transgendered. So what I can't help wondering is whether I'm really attracted to women, or if its all just an intense envy??? Is my need for a female body so intense that my jealousy is misinterpreted as attraction? Am I really attracted to anyone at all?
I had thought these uncertainties would subside once I was farther along in my transition. Yet now I've pretty much completed the change, and done it fairly successfully I may add. Yet these thoughts remain.
Okay, so here's what's on my mind. Me and the kid went to a little reunion dinner with some of our theater friends - the cast of Dr. Piranha's Super Sci-Fi Theater. They're all quite crazy and it was a good time.
The three girls in the group are ungodly beautiful. One girl, Emily, would probably be considered the "hottest" among them. The step son met her for the first time tonight and later stated that he, "didn't notice anything about her but her breasts". Little pervert... he's just like his mother (my girlfriend) who only notices the same thing.
I, on the other hand, don't really pay attention to these things. I notice faces the most, I noticed the gap in her front teeth, I noticed her awesome boots, but not so much the breasts. If anything, I was just damn jealous of her and the other girls.
So what does this say about my sexuality? I've always assumed I was in the bisexual spectrum, though I've never really done anything with guys. I've had crushes and met at least one guy I couldn't take my eyes off of. They're usually effiminate gay boys - but boys none the less. With the girls I'm attracted to, I'm usually insanely jealous and envious of how they look. So much it hurts sometimes. Such is the way of the transgendered. So what I can't help wondering is whether I'm really attracted to women, or if its all just an intense envy??? Is my need for a female body so intense that my jealousy is misinterpreted as attraction? Am I really attracted to anyone at all?
I had thought these uncertainties would subside once I was farther along in my transition. Yet now I've pretty much completed the change, and done it fairly successfully I may add. Yet these thoughts remain.
Now lets go shopping!
Nor do I really know if you were just putting out rhetorical questions or actually asking for opinions now that I think about it...