I think I need to be harder on my children, although I don't want them to think I'm an asshole. One of my son's pulled a stunt this weekend that is inexcusable. I leave my change in my work pants until I'm ready to go back to work. Then I take it out and put it into the pants I'm going to wear to work the next day before I put the dirty pants into the laundry. My son decided to take the change out of my pants, and give it to someone else. My other son was caught trying to steal the new Harry Potter book from a local bookstore. I don't want to have to show them what juvie is about, but I can't let them continue this way either.
As some may know, I was in and out of juvie when I was a teenager. I don't want that for my children, but I don't know how to convince them that it isn't a good life either, without giving them a taste of what it's like. I'm torn between showing them how much different prison life is and not showing them. I keep asking myself if it would be going to far to wake them up early in the morning, schedule specific meal times, make them do certain work, tell them when they are allowed to go to the bathroom, set a time and time limit for bathing, and a specific time they will be in bed. Some of this is standard already, such as sleep schedule, but I'm not sure that it would be better if I went all out or not. I can't have them thinking that they can get away with everything either.
It's part of the hell we go through as parents. I know I put my parents through hell, but I learned from my mistakes. If I did something wrong, I did my time, and took responsibility. I didn't lie about it if I did it. My kids think that lieing will get them out of the trouble. I ask those who are parents this, am I wrong for showing my children what I've went through for similar behavior? I'm not saying that I was a thief, but I did do things that landed me in juvie. My offenses were more drug related. Which is why I've been clean for 15 years now. I don't want to hurt my kids, but I don't want them learning the way I did either.
What does everyone think?
As some may know, I was in and out of juvie when I was a teenager. I don't want that for my children, but I don't know how to convince them that it isn't a good life either, without giving them a taste of what it's like. I'm torn between showing them how much different prison life is and not showing them. I keep asking myself if it would be going to far to wake them up early in the morning, schedule specific meal times, make them do certain work, tell them when they are allowed to go to the bathroom, set a time and time limit for bathing, and a specific time they will be in bed. Some of this is standard already, such as sleep schedule, but I'm not sure that it would be better if I went all out or not. I can't have them thinking that they can get away with everything either.
It's part of the hell we go through as parents. I know I put my parents through hell, but I learned from my mistakes. If I did something wrong, I did my time, and took responsibility. I didn't lie about it if I did it. My kids think that lieing will get them out of the trouble. I ask those who are parents this, am I wrong for showing my children what I've went through for similar behavior? I'm not saying that I was a thief, but I did do things that landed me in juvie. My offenses were more drug related. Which is why I've been clean for 15 years now. I don't want to hurt my kids, but I don't want them learning the way I did either.
What does everyone think?
So no, you're not wrong for showing your kids your mistakes, maybe it will teach them the right from wrong, and that if they want something they should ask first before just taking. And that if the answer is no, it's for a good reason. My kids see stuff they want all the time, and even though they are still very young, they are beginning to understand that I don't have the money to buy everything they want, and that they only get stuff when they've been good for a period of time. I don't want them being brought up spoilt and thinking they can have what they want, when they want it.
I try and say to them that how would they feel if it was someone else doing that stuff to them (i.e. taking stuff that doesn't belong to them). The answer usually is that they wouldn't like it, it would make them angry and sad. So I tell them that's how the other person would also feel if they did it to them.
I don't know how old your kids are, but I guess mine are at the age where they can accept stuff like that and hopefully learn from it.
We don't have too much of a routine, they pretty much get up when they're ready (which is ALWAYS before I even wake up!), but bed time is a set time, we go up at 7.30 get them ready for bed, they have a 10 minute game of hide and seek, then a story and then it's lights out.