modvayne

I promised that I would explain the circumstances surrounding the probable below the knee amputation of my left foot and ankle, so here goes.

I have worked for a metal stamping compny for almost 5 and a half years now. For those who are unfamiliar with metal stamping, go look at your washer, dryer, or stove, and chances are it will either say Stolle or AmTrim-S on the back of the control panel. Those are the parts we make at work.

I spent my first 3 years with the company observing die setters and tool and die makers, while I worked on a line. My aspiration was to become more than a mere press operator. In March of 2003, one of our die setters retired, and I took over his position. This meant that I was now responsible for the set-up of various jobs within the department.

I performed these duties for 9 months without incident. On January 9, 2004 however, something happened. While removing a die from a press, it rolled out and landed on my left leg. Even the smallest metal stamping die weighs a minimum of 3000 pounds of unforgiving steel. The die which fell on my leg however, weighed approximately 5000 pounds. That's right, 2 tons of unforgiving steel.

Needless to say, I was severely injured. I have a permanent bruise on my left thigh, where a corner hit and punctured the skin almost down to the bone. This was least of my injuries. My tibia and fibia were seperated, they are lower leg bones. My ankle was dislocated, and had to be put back in place surgically. Add to all of this that my left foot was severred almost 3/4 of the way around. My foot was also basically completely shattered.

I spent over a week lying in a hospital bed, and had 2 surgeries while there. One to put the ankle back in place, and one to attempt to rebuild and reattach my left foot. I found out later a few things that the doctor told everyone else. One of the things he had said was that these types of injuries are rated on a scale of 1-4 with 4 being immediate amputation. He said that mine was the highest 3 possible without being a 4. He also said that there was no promise that the surgry would fix it.

I fought the injury, and won. I spent 4 months doing nothing but sitting on a couch. I then spent another 3 months in physical therapy learning to walk again. I still have a lot of problems walking, but I learned to get by. My left foot continues to be extremely tender to the touch. It also swells and throbs to a point that even I want to kill myself, which is past the point for most people.

Recently, I have been feeling bone rubbing bone, bones moving, and sharp pains shooting all through my injured leg and foot. I have even had bones shift to a point where I have almost fell to the ground. I also can't step on anything that is uneven. This causes more pain than is imaginable.

As you can see from reading this, I have fought a good fight against the inevitable. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that I have any fight left inside of me. All I want anymore is to be rid of the pain. I want to be able to live life again without having to be careful of my every move. It may mean that I am limited a bit more, but I won't constantly be in the agony that I hide as best as I can every day.

My good friend metal_and_ink has stood beside me through all of this, and can attest to all that I have said. I accomplished the one feat that I most desired by fighting the injury, a lotus suspension. I just can't fight it any more. It is time that I accept that the injury was more severe than we realized and accept it. For a few pics of my journey, click HERE. I will warn you though, some are kind of graphic. If you have a weak stomach, don't look.