I swear I hate my life most of the time. Today, I tried to explain to my youngest son why his grandma and I don't want the video game systems going to their mothers house. It was at that point that their mother's bf jumped in threatening me and acting like his typical asshole self in general. The fact of the matter is that every time they get a video game system or anything of moderate value, it gets sold the second she needs money or he wants to go drinking. I tried to be calm and cool while talking to him through his threats, and tried to explain the reasoning to him as well as the fact that it's none of his business as it wasn't his money that was spent to begin with. He then jumped all over me about not being able to work, calling me fat and lazy among other things. It's honestly the last things I need to hear from his drunk ass. The fact is that I never asked to be injured at work. I never asked not to be able to find a job. Fact being that I held a job until I was no longer able to perform my job duties, but he has barely worked the entire time they've been together. Yet everyone wonders I'm generally depressed and feel like I have nothing to live for anymore. Every aspect of my life is fubared, from relationships to work. How I wish I could just say fuck it all and be done with it.
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irelandvixen:
Please dont say things like that. I know life is hard but take it from someone who just lost the person they loved to them giving up on life. One that wasnt too bad and was SLOWLY getting better. LIfe isnt easy at all trust me I feel you on that. I feel like I am always getting kicked in the face even though I work so hard. He broke my heart when he committed suicide. He took the man I loved and the father of my daughter and threw us away. I hurt everyday, I hurt for her too. I cry all the time cause I miss him sooooo much! All the little things. Yeah life blows I get to raise this baby alone. I get to never have him beside me again! I hurt all the time! I blame myself sometimes when I know I shouldnt. I feel defective because I cant be loved for long. But shit I have this beautiful baby girl to think about now! She is my whole world. None of Us asks for the shit in our life to happen, it just does. We have to get through it! We have to be strong and stand up and get through the day and fight our hardest to survive or get by. I dont want to lose anymore people I care about so please dont talk like that! Its scares me now! I never thought he would do this to me and here I sit alone in the dark in silence writing to you! If you need someone to talk you, You know where to find me. Hugs-ireland
katieokiedokie:
Um hello there is the Misfit show in Dayton at McGuffy's!!!