mkdaniella

There are times in your life where you feel you are going in the right direction and then there are times where things happen that make you doubt everything you are and it becomes a grueling task just to try to get through the day. So it was for me... I have been so concerned with the unconditional and with providing this for everyone in my life that I have failed to be unconditional with myself. I was so intent on being unconditionally patient, understanding, compassionate, loving, affectionate, encouraging, supportive, accepting, helpful, nurturing and whatever made others feel good... that is what I did. Interesting how I forgot to extend the same courtesy to myself because if ever I fell short of these expectations of gigantic proportions I was promptly punishing myself without even noticing.

Why could I not be this good to myself? How could it be so hard for me to treat myself as nicely as I expected to treat others? Did I somehow feel that I was not worthy of the same star treatment that I awarded to the people I came across? Is it that I had been conditioned to always be looking for the reasons why I fell short instead of all the ways in which I excelled? That is a question that I still do not have a clear answer for but although the answer is itself important, the behavior has to stop. The how is the really difficult part. But I determined to make it just as I am determined to remain strong during the times that are given to me right now but find a way not to be down on myself if I falter or stumble a little because the way I see there is no right answer and whichever path I choose I can find a way to light it up and make it mine.

So this is my new homework... kindness... kindness with little buddy the child inside

Wow folks... this is as corny as it gets... and if corny and touchy feely it has to be then i will embrace it and sing it at the top of my lungs (when I get my voice back)

man... all this warm fuzzy stuff makes me horny... I must now excuse myself and step away from the keyboard so that there are no electrical hazards... wish me luck