mkdaniella

I plead for mercy in these jammy pants I have worn all day long and I have no voice... seriously... not "THE VOICE" inside but I literally cannot speak due to a generalized respiratory infection which is probably a good thing since I have said too much and I have created undue burden on the lives of people who did not deserve it.

I'm so sorry Mr. Friend, for all of the harsh words... the responsibility was mine and I should have never given it up... it is never fair to place that on someone else's shoulders... maybe if there was any pretense it is because I succumbed to it too easily and I wanted to believe a little too much...

I love you now and will love you always whoever you are, whoever I thought you were, whoever you become... And this, you need do nothing about... Just know it and it will be happy and honored to be your comfort on blue days or on cold nights...

When I pick up all the little shards from the pavement I will remember that you were the first time I had any strength in the last six years... full story or no story, equal depth of emotion or different, that is the truth and that will remain to me regardless if I become just another faded chapter in the book or this girl you used to know... and I will do my best to hold on to this strength and carry it alone...

You gave me my thoughts back and the road to this undercurrent of happiness that permeates my life so wonderfully now... the desire for independence... the strength to reclaim the right of self-expression... and put me back in touch with my identity which I had never realized I lost... and maybe all of those things were unintentional for you but if i feel the urge to hit you in the gut after all of it than I was the one who played the selfish asshole... i should have followed my cue and exited stage left, gracefully, instead of playing dirty... so I take back that chance now... and exit, a little more gracefully and free of anger...

Funny how life is... do we ever get the love we deserve from those we want? Only time will tell on this one... for now... I am just sorry... sorry for lashing out, sorry for hurting back, being a sore loser and a mean little wounded flower... I'm not proud of it... although it is kinda sad that you will never know what it's like to make come... (Trash, that was for you) (the spelling) (gee what did you guys think it was?)