A comedy of errors:
My father's sole reason for having children was to embarrass them at every possible moment. Oh, it sucked at the time, but I emerged with a keen ability to not-give-a-shit when the shit was, unfortunately, all over me.
The last few days, it's been a damn good thing as, perhaps due to lack of sleep or simple lapse in vigilance, I've been rolling in it - the shit that is.
Thursday a young woman, a lovely young woman whom I've known for about six years now, asked me to a movie. She wouldn't tell me what film, but she said, "I saw the poster and it totally reminded me of you; he looks like you, acts like you ... he even dresses like you."
I said, "sure, let's go."
So while grabbing a bite before the show, she begins talking to me about relationships, namely ours, and how she felt that I should settle down - lest I end up sad and lonely.
As I don't have TV, I had forgotten that a certain film was out right now ...
Alfie ... crap. I was, "set up like a douche another boner in the night."
Firday! Ohhhhh STELLA! Stella was hilaroius, of course. It was the first time I'd been to a show, of any sort, in a long time ... and unfortunately with the high-attendance I was brutally reminded of just how small of a town this is; a concept I had somehow skirted until last night.
Allow me to explain, briefly ... you can fill in the blanks.
MK: "ohhh hey how are you?"
Caroline: "great how are you, it's been a few weeks eh?"
MK: "Yeah, for sure."
Caroline: "I called you last week, didn't you get my message?" (note: no, she didn't)
MK: "no .. oh I'm sorry, Caroline - this is my friend Spencer, and his little brother Griffen; it's Griffen's 21st birthday tonight!"
Caroline: "why did you call me Caroline?"
MK: "ummmm.... "
?????: "hahahah you're fuckin' with me, you remember my name."
MK: "errrrrrrrr...."
?????: "I'm not fucking telling you."
MK: "uhhhamamfmffm"
?????: "whatever" *walks away*
I swear her name was Caroline ... later, she broke down and told me her name again... Shelly. Crap, not even CLOSE.
Biggest. Asshole. Ever.
I mean, if I forget someone's name I have tricks to find it out without letting on ... such as introducing my friend to her, then she introduces herself to him and BINGO!
Problem was, I had forgotten that I had forgotten her name, and thought it was Caroline.
My father's sole reason for having children was to embarrass them at every possible moment. Oh, it sucked at the time, but I emerged with a keen ability to not-give-a-shit when the shit was, unfortunately, all over me.
The last few days, it's been a damn good thing as, perhaps due to lack of sleep or simple lapse in vigilance, I've been rolling in it - the shit that is.
Thursday a young woman, a lovely young woman whom I've known for about six years now, asked me to a movie. She wouldn't tell me what film, but she said, "I saw the poster and it totally reminded me of you; he looks like you, acts like you ... he even dresses like you."
I said, "sure, let's go."
So while grabbing a bite before the show, she begins talking to me about relationships, namely ours, and how she felt that I should settle down - lest I end up sad and lonely.
As I don't have TV, I had forgotten that a certain film was out right now ...
Alfie ... crap. I was, "set up like a douche another boner in the night."
Firday! Ohhhhh STELLA! Stella was hilaroius, of course. It was the first time I'd been to a show, of any sort, in a long time ... and unfortunately with the high-attendance I was brutally reminded of just how small of a town this is; a concept I had somehow skirted until last night.
Allow me to explain, briefly ... you can fill in the blanks.
MK: "ohhh hey how are you?"
Caroline: "great how are you, it's been a few weeks eh?"
MK: "Yeah, for sure."
Caroline: "I called you last week, didn't you get my message?" (note: no, she didn't)
MK: "no .. oh I'm sorry, Caroline - this is my friend Spencer, and his little brother Griffen; it's Griffen's 21st birthday tonight!"
Caroline: "why did you call me Caroline?"
MK: "ummmm.... "
?????: "hahahah you're fuckin' with me, you remember my name."
MK: "errrrrrrrr...."
?????: "I'm not fucking telling you."
MK: "uhhhamamfmffm"
?????: "whatever" *walks away*
I swear her name was Caroline ... later, she broke down and told me her name again... Shelly. Crap, not even CLOSE.
Biggest. Asshole. Ever.
I mean, if I forget someone's name I have tricks to find it out without letting on ... such as introducing my friend to her, then she introduces herself to him and BINGO!
Problem was, I had forgotten that I had forgotten her name, and thought it was Caroline.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
my dad introduced my mom to someone at their wedding and went blank. "joe this is my wife........uh........?" yeah they'd been married for about an hour i think. i personally have NEVER been in such a situation. close once...my friend jen says "erica, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" i smoothly say "no. we're all grown-ups here. introduce yourselves." smooth, i tell you.
I dont think there is anything else you can say here.