mjr0xurs0x

i'm not happy right now.

i'm sitting in front of my laptop and listening to ben harper while i'm drinking a few bottles of heineken. and man, am i depressed.

i dont wanna be here anymore. i dont wanna work at vni anymore. i dont wanna be living with my parents anymore. i dont wanna be boring anymore.

i want to be with my girl. i want to be in cali. i want to work there. i want my own apartment with my lover and my dog. i dont wanna be lonely anymore. i need someone next to me.

gawd, i sound so pathetic right now but i think i'm finally having my breakdown. and surprise surprise it only took alcohol to get it out of me. i havent drank for a while and now that i had a taste again i just wanna pour my guts out.

i'm so lonely. i need her. i want her. i cant go on anymore without her. great now i'm crying. i'm so depressed. i'm just so sad without her.

geeze forget it .. i cant even let out what i wanna let out here. i just need a good cry but i dont have a shoulder to cry on. fuck it .. i'll cry on my own shoulder.

thanks for putting up with my random rants.

goodnight everyone.