Time to get rid of that depressing last entry.
Right now is still humbling, but for different reasons than when I last updated; I am astounded at the amount of shit I internalized over the last year or so, and I have had a very cathartic few weeks, and I feel much better.
Feeling like not just taking everything lying down.
Feeling like I can stop blaming myself for everything, because I have realised that a lot of it was just that it was easier to blame myself than deal with the alternative.
This is not at all to say that I am going to stop taking responsibility for my actions, but what it does mean is that I can be aware that I'm not the only person at fault for things being wrong.
It's a much better state to be in.
Right now is still humbling, but for different reasons than when I last updated; I am astounded at the amount of shit I internalized over the last year or so, and I have had a very cathartic few weeks, and I feel much better.
Feeling like not just taking everything lying down.
Feeling like I can stop blaming myself for everything, because I have realised that a lot of it was just that it was easier to blame myself than deal with the alternative.
This is not at all to say that I am going to stop taking responsibility for my actions, but what it does mean is that I can be aware that I'm not the only person at fault for things being wrong.
It's a much better state to be in.
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Yesterday it helped to write but often when I try to put things into words they look so trivial or I get too confused trying to figure out what's actually wrong and give up.
Yoga did help anyway and the school thing has potential and if it sucks there's no reason not to leave but there's no point me trying to anticipate it.
We still have to make a trip to pantsland some time if you're keen. We can go watch him paint his fence and mow his lawn and other domesticated things.
The computer is called Pony and it's little. It goes with the fact that it's little and cute and white and plastic and the girly pink theme that made you make barfing sounds. It was on my mind at the time 'cos of this work of art I had seen a few days previously.