So this morning I decided I was going to take the time to sit down and make breakfast like a civilized human. I was feeling an omelette today so I got everything together and started to proceed on this fantastic culinary adventure. I was so excited, I put on my apron and even started throwing salt all over and shouting BAM! like Emril. I started to crack the eggs (like a professional I might add) and didn't get 1 friggin shell in the bowl, now to most of you that's nothing special but to me that's a milestone that deserves some kind of award or monument resurrected in my likeness but I digress. So after a lot of unnecessary hand motions and pretending I had a film crew from the Food Network in my house, I proceed to tell the audience that it's now time to "fire things up" and pour this bad boy into the pan. Now here's where shit got real...I went from thrilled to mad in about .2 seconds...I had just got done telling my imaginary audience that it was time to flip this baby...I break out my spatula and was like "I'LL JUST FLIP THIS OMELETTE" which really meant "I'M HAVING SCRAMBLED EGGS NOW" Fucking culinary disaster struck my pan, I was about to call FEMA I was so upset. My perfectly proportioned omelette was now a pile of scrambled eggs. The moral of this story if that eggs are very uncooperative and my breakfast will no longer include eggs that I make myself -___-. Hope all of you lovely people are having a good start to the weekend :).
