3 months ago, I all but hit bottom. I was devastated in a way I never thought possible. Not by this particular person, anyway. It's funny how easily love can open our hearts, yet close our eyes at the same time. As always, I have no one to blame but myself. I ignored my red flags. I believed someone had changed, when in reality they had only become more careful. In spite of and because of this, I have finally found my niche in this world, my freedom, and my footing. I am back with a vengeance....much more than the woman I used to be.
What a humbling experience. I am grateful for the lessons left in its wake. I have learned that I am capable of unconditional love, outside of my relationship with my family. I have learned that sometimes, you have to be happy for what once was and for having had that experience, rather than bemoaning its passing from your life. I have learned to be more humble....more giving, and forgiving. I have learned to become enriched by the differences in others, rather than feel threatened by them. I have learned that the innermost parts of myself, the parts I once saw as weaknesses, are actually some of my greatest assets. I have learned that I love being a woman. The softer, tender, nurturing counterpart...and that it doesn't have to mean I am emotionally or physically weak. I have learned that we all crumble sometimes, and that it's ok. That true friends not only pick you up and brush you off when you fall, but they also pick you up and carry you during those times you feel you just can't take another step on your own. I have learned the power of self awareness, self-belief, and the bonds of friendship.
Finn and Menace...your intelligence, wit, and perserverence in your own lives is awe inspiring. Thank you for listening to me rant, for sitting with me on the phone until the tears subsided and my darkest moments passed. For putting up with my tirades, my silliness, playfulness and moodiness. I couldn't ask for better friends. Each of you a unique treasure, and even when you felt you may have been faltering yourselves, you were still there beside me. It's because of you I am here writing this, you mean that much to me.
And Finn...I wish the world were full of men like you. Tough yet tender, with shoulders as wide as a heart as deep as an ocean. I love you very much, in ways you will probably never understand. I am so absolutely blessed to have you in my life.
My life is quickly changing. I am going places I never thought I could, or would. Am I scared? You betcha. Am I feeling insecure about it all, and my abilities to be true to myself, and see all of this through? Admittedly, I am. Am I going to let these things stop me, or slow me down? Absolutely not. You see...greater than my fear of success, is my fear of failure. Of having this opportunity to finally pursue a lifelong dream, and letting it pass me by. Of never really leaving my mark on the world and those I love most.
You guys are my angels in disguise. You have taken me places; shown and taught me things you probably aren't even aware of. Nor could I ever really express the depth of my love and admiration for each of you, or my gratitude. Thank you for being my rock when I needed one, for making me feel like I really am someone special and I really can move mountains. From the very depths of my soul....I love you.
What a humbling experience. I am grateful for the lessons left in its wake. I have learned that I am capable of unconditional love, outside of my relationship with my family. I have learned that sometimes, you have to be happy for what once was and for having had that experience, rather than bemoaning its passing from your life. I have learned to be more humble....more giving, and forgiving. I have learned to become enriched by the differences in others, rather than feel threatened by them. I have learned that the innermost parts of myself, the parts I once saw as weaknesses, are actually some of my greatest assets. I have learned that I love being a woman. The softer, tender, nurturing counterpart...and that it doesn't have to mean I am emotionally or physically weak. I have learned that we all crumble sometimes, and that it's ok. That true friends not only pick you up and brush you off when you fall, but they also pick you up and carry you during those times you feel you just can't take another step on your own. I have learned the power of self awareness, self-belief, and the bonds of friendship.
Finn and Menace...your intelligence, wit, and perserverence in your own lives is awe inspiring. Thank you for listening to me rant, for sitting with me on the phone until the tears subsided and my darkest moments passed. For putting up with my tirades, my silliness, playfulness and moodiness. I couldn't ask for better friends. Each of you a unique treasure, and even when you felt you may have been faltering yourselves, you were still there beside me. It's because of you I am here writing this, you mean that much to me.
And Finn...I wish the world were full of men like you. Tough yet tender, with shoulders as wide as a heart as deep as an ocean. I love you very much, in ways you will probably never understand. I am so absolutely blessed to have you in my life.
My life is quickly changing. I am going places I never thought I could, or would. Am I scared? You betcha. Am I feeling insecure about it all, and my abilities to be true to myself, and see all of this through? Admittedly, I am. Am I going to let these things stop me, or slow me down? Absolutely not. You see...greater than my fear of success, is my fear of failure. Of having this opportunity to finally pursue a lifelong dream, and letting it pass me by. Of never really leaving my mark on the world and those I love most.
You guys are my angels in disguise. You have taken me places; shown and taught me things you probably aren't even aware of. Nor could I ever really express the depth of my love and admiration for each of you, or my gratitude. Thank you for being my rock when I needed one, for making me feel like I really am someone special and I really can move mountains. From the very depths of my soul....I love you.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I guess the simple version is I cherish your words. Sometimes it is easier to see a persons strength from the outside.